Moving On With You, Jinjoo

14: Hesitation

Yena drags her feet across the kitchen with a bowl of cereal in her hand and a spoon in the other. The moment she enters the living room, she sees Yujin sitting at the dining table, staring into thin air, aimlessly stirring the cereal that was probably getting soggy.

She sits opposite the girl, getting her attention with the squeak of the chair. Yena dug a spoonful of cereal, bringing it to her mouth just to ask, "Did something happen?" She eats, sighing softly when sugar finally enters her body.

"Hm?"

"You're dazing," Yena spoke with a mouth full, stretching her lower back before going in for another bite of cereal. "What are you thinking about this early in the morning?"

"Nothing," Yujin remembered to eat her cereal, frowning when it went all mushy in her mouth. She stirred it for too long but dealt with it. Her mind was filled with things other than the texture of her cereal.

She regrets dropping by the convenience store before returning to the dorm last night–the store painfully close to where Minju stayed. She could've gone to the one right below their dorm but no. She thought the brunette might need ice cream after a long day. If only she were a minute later, she wouldn't have walked into something that eventually ruined her morning–and her whole night.

Minju was with a girl. Yujin only saw the latter's back, but she towered over Minju like she did. It was dark, gloomy. But the way they hugged made Yujin realise it could've been that girl right at the back of Minju's mind. The hand at the back of her head, arms tightly around her shoulders with her face buried in them.

Yujin realised, it was the person that would be tough for the brunette to forget. That person anyone would find hard to move on from.

"Unnie," she called Yena who hummed, drinking the milk straight from the bowl. The older girl saw her hesitating and gave her a few more seconds to think about whatever she had in her mind.

Yujin looked at her, folding her left arm above the table. "Should I just give up?"

"Give what up?" Yena wiped the corner of her mouth, reaching over for a piece of tissue in the box at the end of the table.

Yujin shrugged, lifting the spoon of cereal into her mouth. Yena could tell something was off with her body language, eyes not as bright as the day. "Just, everything," the younger replied. "I don't know if it's going to work out."

"What's making you think that way? I thought everything was fine."

"I want to think that it is. But what if it's not?"

"What are you going on about?"

"Five years." was what Yujin had her mind running about.

"Five years?" Yena pushed the bowl aside.

Yujin sighed softly, leaving the spoon in the bowl, not caring if it slipped into the leftover milk. She never wanted to finish it anyway. "What if all this was just a mistake? What was I thinking when I decided to do all this?"

"Yujin," Yena said. "You have to give me some sort of context because I'm not following."

"I know I said I was willing to wait. But what if what I'm waiting for turns out to be nothing? They were together for five years. How is someone supposed to move on from that?" The fear of waiting was getting to her.

When the older girl had a gist of what was happening, she let out a long sigh and sank into the chair with her arms crossed. "That's what you're worried about?"

"I'm not worried. Do I sound worried?"

"Desperately," Yena muttered. "But you could be worried. It's not easy to wait for someone who's yet to move on from what happened previously. But if it's her that you like, and you trust where she's leading you, her previous relationship should be the least of your concerns. Now, what did you see that made you think about all that? There's no way you've just found out she had an ex of five years."