Sunshine | Finnick Odair

| part 14 |

Johanna can assemble her rifle without help. Katniss rib hurts less and she's making it further in the running. Soldier York gives the three of us an approving nod as we knock off for the day. "Fine job, Soldiers."

When we move out of hearing, Johanna mutters, "I think winning the Games was easier." I laugh as we make our way to the dinning hall, where our make shift family is waiting for us.

"Hello" I say as Finnick places a peck on my cheek. I look to the right of the table seeing Johanna and Avanna laughing together. It's good to see both of them happy. Avy hasn't really smiled like that since Mags passed. I then look to the left to see Haymitch and Caspian playing rock, paper, scissors.

"Our little family functions quite well" I say to Finnick whose holding Hope in his arms. It's crazy how quick they grow. It feels like just yesterday I was still pregnant with her.

"We've got the best family" He smiles, agreeing with me.

Katniss and Gale soon join us. Katniss looks over to me and Fin and her smile brightens. I think she's relieved to finally see the actual Finnick. Not the Capitol heartthrob she met before the Quell, or the broken man who tried to help hold her together. Just Finnick. Finnick's real charms of self-effacing humor and an easygoing nature are on display for the first time.

I listen to Finnick telling some ridiculous story about a sea turtle swimming off with his hat.

"I remember that, we were swimming together and I nocked your hat off and the turtle came up and stole it.
Is that real?" I ask.

"Real. I never got my hat back" we laughed until I realise Peeta standing there. Directly across the table, behind the empty seat next to Johanna.

"Peeta, It's so nice to see you out and about." I say. Two large guards stand behind him. He holds his tray awkwardly, balanced on his fingertips since his wrists are shackled with a short chain between them.

"What's with the fancy bracelets?" asks Johanna.

"I'm not quite trustworthy yet," says Peeta. "I can't even sit here without your permission." He indicates the guards with his head.

"Sure he can sit here. We're old friends," says Johanna, patting the space beside her. The guards nod and Peeta takes a seat. "Peeta and I had adjoining cells in the Capitol. We're very familiar with each other's screams." Johanna says.

Finnick shoots Johanna an angry glare as I take Hope out of his arms pulling her into my chest for a hug. I still don't like it when people mention the Capitol and Finnick knows that but for the sake of training I have to appear stable. Even if on the inside I'm going crazy. Hope and Caspian are the only things that keeps me connected to the real world in times like these.

"What? My head doctor says I'm not supposed to censor my thoughts. It's part of my therapy" replies Johanna.

"How have you been Peeta?" I ask him. I haven't got around to seeing him much in between training and raising two kids but I try my best to at least see him twice a week.

"I'm doing better" Peeta says and I hear that old note of gentleness in his voice. Peeta has made a much better recovery since I've been seeing him. I even snuck in some paints once so we could decorate his walls a bit. Coin was furious but I really couldn't give a fuck.

Peeta makes a little gesture with his spoon, connecting Gale and Katniss. "So, are you two officially a couple now, or are they still dragging out the star-crossed lover thing?"

"Still dragging," says Johanna.
Spasms cause Peeta's hands to tighten into fists, then splay out in a bizarre fashion.

Gale simply says, "I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself."

"What's that?" asks Peeta.

"You," Gale answers.

"You'll have to be a little more specific," says Peeta. "What about me?"

"That they've replaced you with the evil-mutt version of yourself" says Johanna making me glare at her.

Katniss gets up to leave with Gale following behind her. I really hate Gale, he is not helping Peeta's recovery. Because of what, an obsession with Katniss? He needs to open his eyes and see he has no chance.

"Peeta, your not a mutt" I reassure him just before the guards take him away. I glare at Johanna one last time before storming away from the table with Hope tightly in my arms. I love Johanna but sometimes she needs to learn to shut her mouth. I get it, she's been though a lot. But so have I, you don't see me going around making others feel worse.

I slam the door to our room shut making Hope cry from the noise. "Shhh, I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean to scare you" I place a reassuring kiss in her head as I gently swing her from side to side. I feel tears prick my eyes as I cry in frustration. It's all too much. Mags and my mum are gone. Peeta is crazy. What if I go crazy too? What if I loose my mind? Have I already lost my mind?

I quickly place Hope down into her crib as I feel my hands begin to tremble. Is any of this real?
Am I still in the Capitol and this is just some sort of sick joke? I feel the world around me slowly thin out as my ears begin to ring.

"Hope, raindrop, seaweed, sand, sunshine, Caspian, fish, Mags, turtle" I say out loud trying to calm my mind down but nothing works as the tears keep pouring and my breathes quickening. Suddenly, I feel two strong arms wrap around me as I fall to my knees.

"Aurora look at me" I hear Finnick say, placing his hands on either side of my face, making me look at him.
"Your safe. This is real" he repeats to me over and over again until I eventually believe him. I am safe. This is real

"Fishface" I say snuffling.

"Yeah, that's right" Finnick laughs pulling me into a hug. "Your safe"

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