then you flashed your green eyes at me || Charles Leclerc

chapter twenty-five

He did. He didn't question it, he didn't try any other way to calm her down.

He simply kissed her.

A few seconds later, they moved apart, her breathing finally slowing down. She looked at the floor, while he was trying to get her to look at him.

He slowly wiped her tears from her face, slightly lifting it. She tried to avoid his gaze, giving up in no time.

"I'm sorry" she said, losing herself in his green eyes.

"Stop saying sorry" he smiled softly.

"Sorry" her eyes widened. "I really want to say it again"

"Don't" he smiled.

"I'm a bit lightheaded" she said, slightly closing her eyes.

"Do you want to sleep for a bit? I'm gonna tidy up a few things and finish making breakfast"

"But we wanted to make it together"

"Yeah, but you're not feeling well" he said. "I'll do it, it's not a problem, I promise"

"But I want to help"

"And I want you to rest"

She sighed. "What if I sit in the kitchen and do what I can?" she asked - almost begged. "Please"

"Okay" he whispered. He wasn't totally convinced, but she had asked with watery eyes and a sad face. He had to agree.

He helped her get up, then he walked with her to the kitchen. He forbid her from picking up the pieces of the broken bowl, while he cleaned up. Then, he took another bowl from the cupboard and gave it to her.

"Let's make pancakes, shall we?" he smiled. She nodded, carefully taking the bowl.

They started mixing the ingredients in total silence. She was completely focused on what she was doing, while he sometimes glanced at her - once, to check if she was okay; twice, to look at her focused expression; three times, to trace the edge of her lips with his eyes.

They didn't talk about the kiss. She wasn't sure of the reason why, but they didn't.

Did she want to? Not really. What was she going to say? That she felt something, even though she was sure she didn't have feelings for him? That she wanted to kiss him again? That the feeling of his lips against hers, and his breath mixed with hers, and his hands on her face were what made her come back from the panic attack?

She wasn't going to say that, ever.

She did think all of that, though. When he had taken her head in his hands and collapsed his lips with hers, she felt something unexplainable. It was like a warm hug, butterflies in her stomach and fog in her mind - not the kind of fog you get from panic attacks; it was more of a uncertainty of self, as if she wasn't sure she could be whole without him there with her.

Which was crazy.

She watched him as he cut the strawberries. Then, when he started cooking the pancakes, she rest her head on her hand and watched his back as he moved in the kitchen. When he served them, she smiled as he focused on creating a star of strawberries on her pancakes - it wasn't symmetrical, but it was the cutest thing she had ever seen.

"They look wonderful" she smiled.

"I wanted to make a cute star but it turned out very strange" he pouted.

"It's very cute" she said. He smiled brightly as he saw that her eyes were sincere.

There was something with their eyes - you could always read their emotions.

Alya had gotten pretty good at hiding them throughout the years, but when she was with someone she was comfortable with all her barriers fell as if they were made of paper.

You could see when she was sad, or happy, or honest, or worried.

And you could do the same with him.

It was as if they could talk through their eyes, and have complete conversations.

They ate in silence, glancing at each other when the other was focused on the food. After breakfast, they sat on the couch and spent time on their phones.

It felt heavy, that silence. It wasn't like the usual silences they had shared before. There was something else there - they both knew what, but neither of them wanted to name it - that was making it harder to feel completely comfortable.

But they ignored it due to their pride.

"I have practice in two hours" Charles said, breaking the silence.

"I can go" she replied, jumping up.

"No, you can stay if you want. There's time" he said. She sat back down - she was partly relieved that she didn't have to leave, she didn't want to, but it felt weird.

"What's your training plan for today?" she asked. He looked up from the phone.

"Running quite a lot...and weights I think. The whole package" he said. She nodded, trying to think of other topics to talk about. He took the situation in his own hands. "What are you going to to today?" he asked.

"I have to go to the grocery store, I'll probably hit the gym at some point, if I feel like it. And I have to film some content" she replied, slowly. Since she didn't know how to bring on the conversation, she wanted to drag her words as long as possible. 

"Are we ever going to film something together?" he asked smiling. She smiled back.

"Why not, one day" she said. "I could organize a 'q&a with my drivers friends' or something" 

His smile broke a little, but he didn't show it. He wanted to spend time with her - not everyone - and maybe know more about her. He didn't say anything.

Slowly they started talking again, carrying on the conversation without stopping. When Andrea got to Charles' apartment they buzzed him in, and made it so that they started late the workout session. They laughed like kids when the trainer realized it was late and started jokingly scolding them. 

They quickly said their goodbyes, walking in opposite directions when they reached the ground floor. 

Alya smiled to herself, and that night she fell asleep still feeling his lips on hers.