then you flashed your green eyes at me || Charles Leclerc

chapter thirty

"By the way, I didn't get a chance to tell you earlier, but I watch all of your videos and I love your vibes" Alex said, smiling.

They were sitting in the paddock cafe, waiting for the race time to come. Alya had sat there around ten, after leaving Lando at the McLaren motorhome for the last talks with the team and trainings - reflexes and strategy and so on.

Around twenty minutes later, Charles and Alexandra had walked in. Her and Charles had exchanged a look - she had forcedly taken it away from him - and then Charles had said bye to his girlfriend and left. She had sat next to her, after saying hi, and had started engaging a conversation.

Despite every intention Alya had of pushing her away, she was actually having a good time. And she was hating that.

"Thank you" she smiled. "And what do you do?"

"I study history of art in Paris" she said.

"Wow, that's impressing" she said surprised. "I never liked studying it, but I've always loved certain art movements. What's your favorite?"

"I love impressionism, classicism and neoclassicism, but I love art in general" she said. "What about you?"

"I love impressionism and realism, some expressionist painters and neoclassicism. But my favorite will always be Van Gogh. I know it sounds common and general, but he makes me feel something - which doesn't happen with other artists."

"That's actually amazing" she smiled. "I get it tho. For me it's Monet, the painter that makes me feel something"

"It makes sense" Alya said. "He uses color in a unique way"

"He really does" Alex agreed. After a few minutes of silence, she spoke again. "You know, I was afraid of talking to you"

"What? Why?" Alya giggled.

"I don't know" she shrugged. "It's just that Charles adores you, he always talked about you. I am intimidated by you in some way"

"You have nothing to be intimidated by from me" she laughed. "I'm the most common person ever"

"I'm not so sure about that" she said. In front of Alya's questioning look, she explained. "I think Charles has had feelings for you" she said. "He never told me explicitly, but I kind of always felt like it was that way. And I think those feelings will never entirely go away, I see the way he looks at you. It's just that I like him so much, and I want to be selfish for one time. And I really want to enjoy every second that I get to spend with him, tho I feel like it's not going to be a long time. His eyes light up when you enter a room, but I just don't want to point it out until he does. When he'll realize that I'm not the one he loves, it will be less painful if I'm prepared. And to be prepared I feel like I had to share this with you" then she looked at her. "I'm sorry I threw this stuff on you I didn't mean to sound bitchy or anything, I swear. I just want to try to be happy till it lasts"

"You know what's hilarious? I am intimidated by you" she replied. "You're literally everything I want to be"

"You are just perfect the way you are, you know?"

"I don't really feel that way" she giggled. "I don't know if we'll ever be able to be friends, but I want you to know that you deserve the happiness you are trying to get. And I really hope it will last. You say he looks at me in a certain way, but I've seen how he looks at you, I don't think that's just there. I don't know, I feel like it's not just so temporary as you say" she smiled sadly.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure"

"Do you have feelings for him?" she asked, looking at her hands. "It's hard to read you. Sometimes it seems like you're in love with him and sometimes it looks like you hate him. I don't know what to think"

"I don't know" she said. "Probably yes. But it's not something I can explain"

"Great" Alex said sarcastically.

"What?"

"It's just that I think I'll just grow more insecure now. It's just a matter of time before he realizes"

"Why do you sabotage yourself like that?"

"It's not sabotaging" she said. "I'm just trying to accept things the way they are. Our relationship is good, but it's more friendship-like. I have feelings for him, but he's not feeling the same towards me. And that's okay, don't get me wrong, I can't force him to love me. It's just that knowing that it's a one way road is more painful that I would like for it to be"

"Well" she said slowly, trying to stop her eyes from getting watery - she didn't want to break in front of Alex. "If it makes you feel better, I can try to stay as far as possible from him" she said slowly.

"I don't want you to stay away from him, he's still your friend"

"It's okay, I can do it. It might be best for everyone"

"If you change your mind, and I kind of hope you will for your sake and Charles', don't worry about it"

"Okay" she nodded.

"Can I ask you something else as well?"

"Yeah go ahead"

"Being new here is...scary" she said. "You are all already friends and I'm just kind of storming in. If I need help, can I ask you? You are literally the sweetest here. Francisca looks ready to kill me every time I walk in a room and I don't really know how to engage conversations with the others. If you're not comfortable with it it's okay tho"

She was infuriatingly nice.

"Of course you can" she smiled.

Kika walked in at that exact moment, glaring at Alex. She walked towards them and looked at Alya.

"Hey, can you come with me? I gotta show you something" she smiled.

"Yeah sure" she said. "Bye Alex, I'll see you around?" when she nodded smiling, they walked away.

When they reached the motorhomes, Kika started talking.

"Do I need to kill her?"

"What, no" she giggled.

"You looked framed"

"I kinda was, but it's fine"

"How do you not hate her? She took your man"

"He was never my man" she said sadly.

"Well, he could've been"

"Yeah but he never was" she shrugged. "I really tried to not like her"

"But?"

"But she's infuriatingly perfect, and nice, and it's impossible to"

"So you're becoming friends?"

"Hell no" she giggled. "We're just coexisting"

"Do I need to remind you that that's exactly what you said about Charles while falling for him?"

"While what?" someone asked shocked behind them.

Alya freezed. "Fuck" she cussed under her breath, turning around.

"You fell for him?"