Do I Tell You I Love You?

Chapter4: And then...we left

{Hanbin's pov}

Saturday, 31st December 2016

11:13pm:

I've been Going through a hell a lot of shit for past two months, from composing songs to writing lyrics and even dealing with the hard pressure of preparing for our next Japan tour in February.
All of that at once, without a second to catch my breath and actually try to turn the steering wheel around.

Plus, a blonde-headed girl who smiled and talked too much had been appearing in my mind a lot lately.

Lisa took up a lot more of my thoughts than she should have and I'm constantly thinking of her, trying to impress her and all that shit. Which was weird, because I didn't really give a shit about people or what they thought of me before. But I kinda of wants her to see me as a good person and someone she can fall hopelessly in love with, someone who actually deserves to have a little of her attention.
Because in her eyes, I don't feel like I'm a man carrying an entire mountain of expectations on my shoulders. I'm just Hanbin, the kind of guy who sits on the floor with her, eating takeout from a carton and loving every second of it, the kind of guy to dance with her in the dark when no one is watching.

But definitely not the king of guy who can hand her on a silver plate for anyone else. Not the kind of guy who can stand another boy breathing down her neck.

And for being exactly that kind of guy. I was sitting here surrounded by drunken people who can't seem to stop dancing and laughing and holding into each other like it's the end of the fucking world.
What is so fucking special about new year's eve that I can't bring myself to compromise??!

On top of that and unlike the last time I was in a party, Lisa wasn't here to run away with me .
No.
She was with that bastard Sihun.
She was just there laughing with him without any care of the world.
Without any care of me.

Listen, I know.
I was a possessive bastard myself.
And that would always be a problem with Lisa, she's just too beautiful for her own good. But I just can't help it, I love her so much that the tiniest thought of her caught up with someone else turns my upsides down.

Fuck.
He's touching her arm now.
Leaning closer to her.
Whispering in her ears.
Making her laugh.
Shit.Shit.Shit.

I'm feeling it now, no matter how much I want to deny it.
Full-blown jealousy consumes me, making my blood run hot and my head wants to explode.
I need to get out of here.

"Hyung, I'm going out for a bit,okay?" I turned to Jinani-hyung pointing with my thumb over to the exist.

"Why? are you okay?" He asks eyeing me warily. And I knew for sure that my anger must be written all over my face right now.

"Yeah, I'm cool. I just need to smell some fresh air, it's so freaking hot in her-

"Yo bro" Bobby jumped on me from behind suddenly then he quickly let me go as if my shoulders just caught fire. "Shit man are you okay?!" he asked panicking. "you have this whole thunderous expression on your face, you look like you're gonna murder someone!"

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I have a good idea who's my first victim is going to be.
Fuck, I need out. Now.

before I do something crazy like just going over there, throw a punch or two at that motherfucker and snatch her away.
So I just turned on my heels and went straight off to the exist ignoring Bobby and Jinhwan hyung calling me.
I hurried out of exist and into the massive garden.