the clock was about to strike midnight and the heavens were breaking outside. you sat alone at the table that was once accompanied by your friends, but now they were stood on the dancefloor, partying into the new year.
the same couldn't be said for you though. the glass of champagne shook in your nimble fingers as tears threatened to break free from your tired eyes. everyone here had someone they loved, but the one you loved was no where to be seen.
"come on, come and dance with us!" your bestfriend shouted to you over the blaring music.
"he really didn't show?" You asked again for the fifth time tonight.
her eyes softened as she broke free from her boyfriend's hand to speak to you. "no girl, I'm sorry. I really don't know why." she replied, offering you an apologetic smile. "are you sure you don't want to dance?"
"I guess I can manage one dance" you replied, taking her hand in yours as she pulled you to the dance floor.
It couldn't have been more than two minutes before all of a sudden, you were too aware of your surroundings. the sweaty bodies that constantly touched yours. the music that burst your eardrums. the air was slowly disappearing from your lungs and the room entirely.
"I'll be back in a minute!" you shouted as you slipped away and slithered through the crowd until you found the exit.
the tears you so strongly held back before started to fall as your knees wobbled with every step you took. walking in heels had never been something you were particularly good at and now you were running in them. you could hear the taps of the heels as you ran down the cobblestone steps into the courtyard, the rain pelting off the grass and soaking your hair.
a thousand questions started to flood through your brain.
where is he?
why didn't he come?
Is it me?
has he found someone else?
Is he okay?
was I not good enough?
not knowing where matt was and why he wasn't here started to overtake your emotions, and suddenly your tears were mixing with the rain and your sobs wracked through the empty garden. you unclasped the buckles on your shoes and immediately began running away from the music. the rocks and stones on the ground cut your feet but you didn't care. It was too much.
you dropped to your knees as lightning stuck through the clouds.
it was silent, except for the rain hammering on the ground, until you heard someone shout your name.
you ignored them, assuming it was just your friend trying to get you to go back inside and dance with her.
you could hear the splashing of footfalls as someone ran up to you.
they shouted your name again
"I swear, just leave me-" you started, standing up to face the girl who so desperately wanted to speak with you.
but instead of being met with your bestfriend's eyes, they were matt's.
"you" you whispered harshly, your eyes narrowing at the boy stood in front of you. he was wearing a suit, his tie matching your navy dress. "where the hell were you?" you shouted through the rain, mascara running down your rosy cheeks.
he didn't reply, he just looked down and fiddled with his cufflinks.
"hey!" you shouted, swatting at his hands. "talk to me!" you continued, incredibly frustrated.
"I don't know what to say" he finally muttered
"what do you mean you don't know what to say?" you questioned, flailing your arms in the air in defeat. "why don't you tell me where you've been for the past five hours, while I've been sat alone waiting for you at this damned party that you asked me to come to?" you spat, sniffling as the cold air began taking its toll on you.
"I was scared" he admitted.
"scared of what?" you asked. "me?"
"I don't know" he murmured.
"sorry what was that?"
"I said I don't know!"
"pathetic. you're pathetic matthew i hope you know that"
an uncomfortable silence filled the air around you, and all you could hear was your chest heaving in fear at what your boyfriend was going to say next
"your ex showed up. he told me that I had to go with him otherwise he would hurt you." he finally caved
"what the fuck?" you questioned in disbelief.
"I'm sorry"
"why didn't you say anything?"
"I couldn't! he came just as you left, it's like he knew or something. and I couldn't risk something happening to you, you know what he's capable of." he replied.
"fucking hell, matt. I thought it was me! I thought you were with someone else. I thought something terrible had happened to you!" you listed, pointing your finger at his chest with each thought, your voice cracking at the last one. "God, if something had happened to you, i don't know what i would have done"
"I'm sorry"
"why would you go with him?" you slightly shoved his shoulders.
"you know what he is capable of!" you shoved, him again, he stumbled backwards.
"why would you put yourself in danger for me?" you shouted, going to push him again, but this time his hands wrapped around your shoulders keeping you in place as he smashed his lips onto yours.
you stood there shocked for a moment, before you wrapped your arms around his neck as his hands travelled to your waist.
he pulled back, holding your face in his hands, his eyes staring straight into yours. "because I love you." he finally answered, wiping your mascara-fied tears with his sleeve, ultimately staining it. "because I don't care about what happens to me." he admitted. "you're my life, my love, and if I have to sacrifice mine to save yours, then i'd do it in a heartbeat."
his words made your eyes well up again, as you began crying for the second time tonight, so you buried your face in the crook of matt's neck. You could hear "the way I loved you" by taylor swift playing in the distance, as the rain continued to slam into the ground. fitting.
oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
you began to slow dance to the steady rhythm of the song.
never knew i could feel that much
matt's arms tightened around your waist, silently saying "I'll never let you go, I'll protect you forever." as yours tightened around him, pulling yourself impossibly closer as if to say, "and I'd do the same for you"
and that's the way I loved you.
the song finished, and matt pressed a kiss into the side of your head.
"and that's how much I love you." he replied, his eyes glistening as he stared into yours.
