tw: this will include a panic attack and anxiety, so if this is a trigger for you, skip this one shot. my dm's are always open if you need anyone to talk to. stay safe <3
"can i get anything else for you?" you asked the group of girls stood on the other side of the counter.
"hmmm.. can i get a chocolate milkshake?" one of them asked, pointing to it on the menu
"of course, is that a-" you began to speak, but was interrupted by the girl.
"actually can i have strawberry?" she asked
"no problem, that will be $3.99" you responded, slightly irritated that she had cut you off, the annoyance clear in your tone.
"shit, i only have 2 bucks, is that ok?" she asked.
you internally rolled your eyes at the question, "unfortunately not, i'm sorry,"
"come on!" she raised her tone, "its only a couple of dollars off"
"a couple too many, i'm afraid"
"fuck you then" she finished, turning around and leading her group out of your small cafe
"what a bitch.." you mumbled under your breath, reaching under the table to grab your keys, but all your hand was met with was thin air, "what the?" you questioned, not knowing where you could've left them.
it had almost been ten minutes, and you still hadn't found your keys. deciding that you would just have to risk it and leave the door unlocked, you shrugged on your coat and began heading outside
it was a cold winter evening, so you put your hands in your pockets, your right one immediately being met with the coolness of your keys
"thank fuck for that" you breathed a sigh of relief, pulling them out and locking the door behind you
just to make things worse, as you were walking down the street to where your car was parked, you slipped on a puddle that had frozen in the december night, you feet being swept from under you as your landed on your butt, pain shooting up your back
you could feel tears threatening to break free from your eyes, but you wouldn't let them, not yet
once you had finally gotten into the safe space of your car, and you turned the heating up full blast, you received a message from your boyfriend
please can you pick us up a mcdonald's on your way home, there's nothing in the house to eat, see you soon, i love you
you picked up your phone and instantly replied, not wanting to leave him waiting too long
of course, i'm on my way now, i love you more
while driving, you were deciding on what to get from mcdonald's.
"hi, welcome to mcdonald's, what can i get for you today?" the lady asked through the speaker
"hiya, please can i have a sharebox of chicken nuggets, two large fries, two oreo mcflurries, a fanta, and a diet pepsi"
"unfortunately our ice cream machine is broken, so i can get you everything but the flurries" she replied
"oh okay, no problem" of course it was broken, it always is
"next window please"
--------
you had finally arrived at your home, and you began collecting all the food and attempting to balance it, along with locking the car and finding the right key to unlock the front door
and then the drinks slipped from your grasp, and split all over the floor and your new shoes
and that was it, your body couldn't take anymore disappointment, and suddenly, your vision was fading, and you could no longer hear the distant echoes of car horns beeping in the distance
despite it being the middle of winter, your body was on fire, you could feel beads of sweat forming all over your body: your forehead, your hands, the backs of your knees, your armpits
it was like the world was enclosing around you, and you couldn't escape
your mouth was dry, no words leaving your mouth, the breath was expelled from your chest, and you couldn't call for help and the only thing you could feel were the tears spilling down your cheeks
your shaking hands found themselves grasping at your neck, trying to let some oxygen in
you felt as if you were going to pass out, until you faintly heard your name being called in the distance
"my love, what's happening?"
"hey, talk to me"
"can you hear me, baby?"
you could feel matthew's cool hands on your face, wiping your tears as he spoke to you, but you were yet to see him
"hey, it's okay, you're okay, it's matt" he comforted, placing a tentative hand on your back
and at that slight touch, you felt your knees buckle, but your boyfriend was quick to catch you before your knees could hit the ground that was soaked by the drinks you had previously dropped
"i.." you tried, but it came out as more of a choked gasp "matt what's happeni-" you tried, but you were cut off by your body taking an intense inhale
"you're having a panic attack, but you're going to be okay" he reassured, "i'll be back in a second, let me go and get you a drink"
"no, no" you cried, not wanting to be left alone while you couldn't see, breathe or move, grasping tightly at his t-shirt
"okay, my love, i'm not going anywhere, but you need to breathe with me" he spoke, placing his hand on your chest, and grabbing yours to place on his
"can you feel me breathing? breathe with me, baby" he inhaled, as you attempted to breathe with him
slowly, you could feel your eye sight coming back, and you could hear your boyfriend's voice clearly again, and you dropped your head into his neck, no longer staring into the abyss
"there you are, you had me worried for a hot minute there, love" he admitted, rubbing his thumb back and forward over your knuckles "let's get you inside"
matt snaked one arm underneath your knees, and the other behind your shoulder blades and he lifted you into the air, grabbing the mcdonald's bag and then locking the car before walking inside and up to your bedroom
he placed you into your bed, and tucked you in, handing you your mcdonald's
"i'm sorry about the drinks, matty" you apologized, your voice raspy and still short of breath from the panic attack
"don't apologize love, we have drinks downstairs" he assured you
once he had collected them, he returned to you, and began changing you into your pajamas
"i can change myself you know" you told him, feeling silly that you were being dressed like a toddler
"i know, but you need to relax, and i don't mind taking care of you" he admitted, a smile on his face
once you were both comfortable, matt turned on friends and you snuggled into his side, finally digging in to your food
"how are you feeling now, baby?" matt checked, tucking a piece of hair behind your pierced ear
"my shoulders are aching like crazy from the intense breathing earlier, and my eyes are still stinging, but other than that i'm okay now that you're here" you responded, as matt's hand immediately teleported to your back, rubbing the pain away
"it will go away soon, trust me" he comforted, speaking from experience
"i'm scared matt" you whispered
"what of?" he questioned
"this happening again,"
"i can't promise that it won't, but i can promise that if it does, i will be there to help you through it"
"thankyou matty, i love you"
"i love you more"
