❝Promise to see the stars with me?❞
❝I promise.❞
• • •
AMAIRA never truly has indulged herself into fantasies that has been written upon books of how the characters live their own stories - she lives i...
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COSTUMES MON– 10/30
SPENDING THE DAY BEFORE Halloween taking an AP exam is apparently not worth all the blood, sweat, and tears I've poured into studying for the exam.
I barely even had to time think of what to be for Halloween. Gray has been telling Vincent and I that we should dress up as horror characters from movies. Vincent then told Gray to go fuck himself and that he didn't want to waddle around looking like Manhattan cosplayers.
"How about just the masks and the clothing is just your own ideas?" he suggested to us on Sunday evening when we hung out.
I told him maybe because I wanted to do something to get my mind off of, and if shopping for silly horror masks in a Halloween store it is, then so be it.
The further I am away from home the better. The more time I spent there, the more it drained me. Studying overnight on Saturday really did effect me if Amaira pointed out how tired I looked.
For a moment, I was kind of glad she noticed. Because most of the time, I hid my rage and tiredness, and acted bubbly just to ease people. It'll be easier to hang around with people and make friends if I didn't have to show my emotions often, and give away the fact how pathetic my life really is.
Acting happy is easy when I forget about all my problems and focus on what I'm doing at hand. It makes it easier for me and for everyone else.
They deal with someone who's easier to deal with.
But Amaira wasn't the only one who suggested I should sleep. Vincent and Gray both tugged me aside and asked me if I was okay, and Jae took notice of my quiet demeanor though he didn't poke and prod me about it.
If four people were able to notice how tired I was, then I should really get some sleep.
The truth is, being tired wasn't the reason for my mood yesterday.
It was Kaito and my father, my mom pitching into hell they've already created.
I just never understood why I was existing in this world when I never received any love from anyone.
It was a fucking slap to the face when my mom told me herself she only had me because she didn't have the choice of aborting me.
Like yeah, thanks for the shit info of how I was never wanted in the first place.
Kaito was clearly the favorite child. He got everything, almost anything, yet when I asked for something, I was the spoiled one.
The little boy who I once knew never asked for much. All he wanted some attention and kindness from the parents he thought that loved him. He spent everyday wondering what he did wrong, why wouldn't his parents notice him? Trying his best to impress them when all their attention was on their firstborn.
