COINCIDENCE - JOÃO FÉLIX

30. chance

ADELINA'S POV
i didn't know why i gave joão a chance to explain himself when i couldn't even trust myself.

i knew it would be a wrong idea and that he will be on my mind for the next few months because of it but it's better to know than regret it.

i have thought a lot about this in the past years, why he broke up with me.

was it because of how overwhelmed he was, was it because of me? or was it because he simply fell out of love.

he told me he wanted to meet me at a park near his house, i have driven past it many times before and i still had it memorized.

he offered to pick me up but i declined and decided to go by myself instead.

i grew more nervous when i checked my phone, telling me that i was two minutes away. i wanted to drive away and leave him so badly but i also needed to be strong.

i couldn't break down in front of him without even knowing anything.

i hoped i would forget our first meeting after years and how i screamed at him but it's all over the internet so there is no way of me forgetting it.

i couldn't tell if he ever felt bad for me or wanted to leave, for the first time in many years i couldn't read his face.

it was confusing the hell out of me. i got out of my car after parking it, noticing joão sitting on a bench while staring at the lake.

i took a deep breath before beginning to walk towards him, he turned around before i had the chance to speak, his face brightened up when he realized it was me.

i gave him a small smile as he moved to give me some space to sit down. i sat down next to him, not daring to look back at him.

he kept his eyes on me, it only made my heart beat faster. i wouldn't be surprised if he could hear it all the way from his seat.

"adelin—" i accidentally interrupted him, "you have five minutes." i reminded him.

his smile faded slowly as he realized i was being serious and wasn't happy to be there. he nodded before beginning to speak, "i know it's a bit too late for me to apologize, but i'm sorry."

he looked away from me, looking ahead. i took the chance to steal a glance at him, why did he look so good right now.

i didn't even get to admire him or realize how much he's changed over the years. he still had the same look on his face, the same sense of style.

even that same scent that i once called home.

i looked away from him quickly, making sure he doesn't get the wrong idea.

"i'm not gonna sit here and say it wasn't my fault or try to act like a victim, i was unfair to you. i should've realized that you were right in front of me." he shook his head, looking at me once again.

i didn't know why but i looked back at him, his eyes still had the same affect on me. i wanted to look away so badly but it was like i was hypnotized by him.

i couldn't hide the fact that i missed him any longer, i tried my best to act strong around everyone. i told them all that i was over him but at the end of the day he was all i thought about.

"i guess i just felt guilty, your entire life was falling apart and it was all because of our relationship. i figured you were hiding your feelings so i don't feel bad but you lost your relationship with your family and best friend because of me. even the guy you hated most came back to haunt you because of me."

i looked away from him again, listening to what he said. i closed my eyes, shaking my head. i thought i had let him know that it wasn't his fault.

i suddenly felt terrible for all i did and all the years i was angry with him. if i had known he cared this much, i would've put much more effort into us.