M O S A I C

Green Eyed Monster

Green
Green
Green eyed jealousy.
Princess lying on top of a pea,
Missing the forest for the tree.
Envying the ocean even as you are all that anyone can see.
How can you rule a Queendom when your attention is so scattered?
In tightening your fists you cut off your own circulation,
Stagnate the waters of your own imminent emancipation.
Allow moss to cover all that which should be your dominion.

The jester is not the sage.
The king is not the queen.
Unless...
But if you must look away from your own test to confirm you are the best
Your loss has already been settled before the cards were even dealt.

So rest
My green eyed monster
In your anguish and hurt remain still.
This terror that tears at your heart does in fact mean something
But not anything you can do anything about until.
Until you have calmed.
Until the seas in your mind have stilled.

Do not weild a sword while armed then claim as Cain that you 'only meant to till.'
The blood in the dirt will scream your name.
Your victim's along with the ones you cut from yourself out of your own haphazard pain.

I am proud of you now for sobbing on the ground when all you wanted to do was battle cry.
You were hurt and wounded my pretty little monster.
But hush now.
Your princess is back at your side.

Author's Note:
Yoooooo this poem came out of nowhere.
Inspired by Scar from the Lion King's villain song of all things..😆

I just feel like there are too many villains who were awesome.
Whose only downfall was not minding their own damn business.

And then I felt called out. About how when things were really bad with me how I couldn't think clearly. How jealousy over things I didn't even want was everywhere. How I  just wanted to consume everything around me like that ghost from Spirited Away.

Yeah. Jealousy was never really a serious problem for me for most of my life.
But when it hit... It hit hard. Pretty sure I was just suppressing things because after I hit a certain point I just wanted everything all at once.

It was a tidal wave that I wanted to drown myself in. Made zero sense whatsoever. 😭

But that massive hunger was one of the most intense motivators for creating my mosaic. If I wasn't that desperate I wouldn't have bothered fixing all the things I needed to fix in myself because all scattered everything looked like too much to handle.

The hunger makes you not care how much work it's gonna take. You just devour.
So while acknowledging how dangerous my green eyed monster is she is still my pretty little girl 🥰. My sweetheart. An honored cornerstone of my Mosaic. 💕