His Slave (BWWM) *MATURE CONTENT*

1. Here We Go Again

Christian Above. You might want to listen to the song. It describes the main character, Raquel, pretty well. It's basically like seeing thing from her point of view. Also from here on out, the music in the beginning of the chapters represent how the main character of is feeling.

1. Here We Go Again
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Kill yourself.

I've actually contemplated doing so for the fourth time this month, and we're only two weeks in.

I mean if I were, who would actually miss me. My folks are dead, my best friend's a whore, my boyfriend is either fucking me or beating me, and my job is to swing around on a pole all day while men throw money at me and try to get me home with them. Keyword: try.

If I were to kill myself, how would I do it? I could walk in the middle of the street and "accidentally" get hit by a car, but that seems way too painful. I could drink bleach, but that would hurt and if by some miraculous turn of events if someone found and saved me, I could go to jail or the looney house. I could pop a bunch of pills, but... but I just don't think I'd want that.

I don't want any of this. I truly want to live, but I'm at the point where I actually can't feel a thing. Physically, mentally, or emotionally. It's to the point where I no longer give a flying fuck. If I were to die, I'd accept death with open arms and let it swallow me whole.

12 months. I'll give myself twelve months to live and if nothing has changed within that time span, then it'll be my time to join my ancestors up in the sky.

"Hello, you need anything ma?" One of the nice looking employees said to me flirtatiously while he licked his lips.

"No, we don't need anything." My boyfriend said viciously coming out of no where. He placed his hand on my waist and squeezed the living crap out of me as his nails digged in my skin. I could just tell that it was going to leave a mark. It must suck that the woman you abuse bruises so damn easily. I held in the cry of pain that wanted to escape my lips as the employee began to speak again.

"Oh, my bad bro." The employee said before walking away.

"Rocky, what the fuck did I tell you about those shorts. Now everyone keeps staring at your ass." Christian whispered in my ear smiling so it could appear to others that we were in a happy relationship. Ha! Happy. What is happiness, it's been a while since I've felt it.

These were the only pair of shorts I have and they were only mid thigh. It's not like I wear them everyday. In fact last time I wore them were 2 months ago, and as much as I hate to admit it, they were kinda squeezing me too tight. Of course my fat ass gained weight, once he checks my weight, I'll really be in trouble.

"I'm so sorry baby. I won't let it happen again." I whispered sweetly in his ear while hugging him and purposely pushing my breast up against him. "I promise, I'll make it up to you when we get home." I said seductively.

Sex. I knew that was the only way I could get out of one of his crazy punishments, and although it doesn't work all the time, it works most of the time.

"Ok." He said as lust immediately glazed his eyes and his friend below hardened against my stomach. "I'll be waiting in the car, just get the rest of the groceries we need off the list." He said before kissing me and exiting the supermarket.

After getting everything, I got in line and began to put the items on the belt.

"Raquel?" I heard a familiar voice say.

"Oh my gosh, Pauliano, is that really you?" I said admiring how much he's grown up.

(A/N: his name is pronounced Paul-lee-ah-no)