delicate | taylor jewel ✧

08

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— it's the next day after the party.
I'm still abit shook about what happened yesterday.

Do I like her back though? I don't know. I mean I'm not a lesbian, am I?
I stand up from my bed and make my way over to Taylor's room.

I knock on her door.
"Who's there?" She asks.
"It's me, Jules." I awnser.
She stays silent for a second.
"Oh." She finally says.
"Can I come in?" I ask one last time.
"Sure." She stutters.

I open her bedroom door and see her laying on her bed with messy hair.
I sit on her bed.
Her eyes wide open and there's one thing on her mind. Last night.

I then notice she has her AirPods on.
"What you listening to?" I ask.
"Delicate." She awnsers.
I smile softly. She smiles back at me and takes off her AirPods.

"J, listen. I actually like you. It wasn't just something I said when I was drunk." She declares.

"Oh.." I look down.
"Are you okay with that?" She interrogates me.

"No no I'm fine with it. I'm just trying to figure out myself who I am at the moment." I explain to her.

"Okay."

"Im sorry for leaving you like that last night." I apologise to her.

"It's fine it really wasn't that big of a dea-"

I hug her.
Her hug felt so soft.
I ruffled through her hair and smiled.

I could feel her leaning her head onto my shoulder when I was hugging her.

"I don't ever want to let you go." Taylors suddenly says.
I don't say anything. I just close my eyes whilst being in her hug. "Me neither." I say after about 6 seconds.

That hug really made me feel things. Things I could never feel with a boy before.
I think I'm starting to catch feelings for Taylor. I think the whole time I was catching feelings for Taylor without even realising it.

I back out from the hug.
"Oh and by the way, your hair doesn't only look okay. It's beautiful." I say.

Her gaze softens.

"Taylor.."
"Mhm?" she nods confused.
I hold her hand.
She breathes heavily.

"I think I like you too. Actually I think I've liked you this whole time I was just too scared to admit anything. Not even to myself. I don't know what I am. I don't know what is wrong with me." I say holding back tears in my eyes.

"Jules..it's okay. There's no need to rush anything." She puts her hand on the back of my neck tilting her head to the side a little bit. "You're so pretty." She admires me.
I smile.

"C-Can I kiss you?" I ask her nervously.
"Are you sure you want to? I don't wanna force you." Taylor puts into words.
"I'm sure." I nod.
"Okay." She whispers.

Gently she pulls me in. I'm sure she felt my heavy breathing getting closer to her soft lips.
With one hand on my neck and her other hand on my waist, she pulls me in closer. Then it happened. My lips were against hers. It felt like an electroshock happening between us. I loved it though. It was so much better than with a boy.

We then stop the 5 second long kiss.

"I love you." I say.
Her eyes widened.
"I love you more."

I hug her once more, this time I was actually in tears. I think I finally found out who I am.
I think I'm actually a lesbian. I definetly like her. Definetly.

"Just cause I kissed you J, doesn't mean I'm still not tired since you woke me up from my nap." She giggles.
"Im also still tired but only cause I didn't sleep the whole night since I was thinking about you." I confess.
Taylor smiled softly and looked down to the ground. Her cheeks were turning red.

"I think im going to lay down a little." She claims.
"Oh okay yeah that's fine!" I stand up from her bed and head towards her door to get out of her room.

"Wait, Jules-"
I turn around.
"Can you stay?" She asks me.
My serious face immediately turns into a smile.
"How could I ever leave you?" I chuckle.

I lay down next to her on her bed.
She closes her eyes.
I get closer to her and hug her tight holding her hand.
I felt her hair in my face, which smelled like strawberries so I didn't get it away from my face. This hug felt so warm.

After about 10 minutes when I realized she was asleep, I sat up on her bed and looked at her. "I love you." I gently whispered into her ear and laid back down next to her, straight up hugging her again.
"I heard that, by the way." She whispers to me chuckling and faces me.
"I mean I kinda did want you to hear it." I say.
She laughs.

She looks at me.
I look at her back.

She's so beautiful. I think to myself.

"You're so beautiful." She says.
"That's crazy, I just wanted to say the exact same thing to you." I laugh.
She smiles at me again.

I slowly put her hair behind her ear since I wanted to see her face better.  I went closer to her and kissed her again, this time my hands were around her neck.

Then suddenly the door opens.

"Hey Taylor I-" Belly walked in.
We immediately backed off eachother.
"Oh shoot I'm so sorry I didn't mean to-" she laughs but still looks abit embarassed.

"No it's fine." I stand up from my bed. "Just please don't tell anyone I'm not ready to come out just yet."

Taylor looks at me admirable.

"Yeah no that's no problem, I promise I won't tell anyone." Belly says.

"Anyways what'd you want?" Taylor adds.

"Oh no, it's nothing, go back to whatever you guys were doing" Belly winks and leaves the room proudly smiling.

"She knew I had a crush on you." Taylor confesses.
"Oh really huh?" I ask and kiss her again.

"I won't ever leave your side, Taylor." I add up and lay back down again.

"I fucking love you." She says proudly.

—