Away we go

3-Spain

In a week , I went from I eat dinner at seven to Around what time are you going to be able to pay attention to me.

I am clingy. I blame it on the early trauma that I am yet to deal with. Maybe that's why dating has never been a success for me. I have never been in a relationship. Three dates and the guy runs away.

This is going to be my second date with Lance.

I have packed my bags and am ready to fly to Barcelona from Washington. Lance was already there for his F1 thing.

The past week had been exceptional. We have video called each other. Put numbers on international roaming and countless texts. I am a big texter.

I woke up at three in the morning for an early flight. Usually I like to pretend that I am an IMG model featuring in Vogue's Diary of a model, to get myself going but today is not that day. Today I woke up on the wrong side of bed. It has a lot to do with a bad past week.

Washington press has always been stressful for me. Lots of research and politics, not just in terms of world affairs but in journalism as well. People spew shit and you are supposed to deal with it, and smile while doing it.

Let's be real, when it comes to journalism, my job is a dream job for many. So people don't hesitate to pull strings and to make a scene out of thin air to bring you down.

Thankfully my network values me and what I bring to the table. But that doesn't mean your girl doesn't gets tired once in a while. And I am tired now. Tired of shit not killing me and only making me stronger.

That was a jibe at motivational quotes by the way. I don't really want to die.

The ice in the bowl trick to sink my face in didn't work. So Lance have to deal with a tired and grumpy me. That too on a second date. What I am putting him through is perhaps a ninth date shit. I feel bad for the guy.

Reaching the airport, I and Alex take a seat next to each other. She is my colleague as well and she is flying to Morocco. Our flights leave simultaneously, so we left the hotel together.

"Sup babygirl?" I hear someone say, as I snooze in the waiting area.

I turn on my side to face him. "Nope."

The guy flicks something off the arm of his jacket. "Fine."

Appreciation for a man who takes no without letting his ego bruise. As a feminist I understand that this is basic; no appreciation required but as a human who is knowledgeable about the generational upbringing of men, I know it is hard for them to tune in with the changing world. It takes years to unlearn something, as much as it takes years to learn another.

He is a handsome man but leading him on was not right. It was not like me and Lance were already exclusive but I wanted to give this thing a fair chance. I had no such expectations from him though. Given our careers, its fine if he wants an open dating situation.

"Love is dumb luck." Alex says, putting the newspaper in her handbag a little too forcefully. She is so nonchalant of her surrounding.

"What's the matter?" Her statement makes me feel multiple things all at once.

"Montes is dating again. Reportedly a foreigner. How come its not me, Nina?" She questions without looking at me.

If its reported in the newspaper, the guy must be some celebrity. I drag a long, slow breath. "Love yourself Alex. Celebrities don't date for love or marriage."

"Not him. His ex-girlfriend lasted six years. I don't know what went wrong." She says this with a trace of disappointment in her voice.

I don't have an answer for that so I decide to keep waiting for my flight announcement instead. I have plans for  the entire eight hours I'll be up in the air. First, I'll eat. Then, I'll try to sleep. Try is the key word here. Traveling by planes gives me worst kind of ear pain. So there's not much scope for sleeping.