Away we go

12- Canada

He looks at me like he is about to apologize and question me at the same time. Scanning for other people over my shoulder, he takes my hand and pulls me in the suite before closing the door behind him.

I hold up my breath. His reaction tells me that its more than just another ex.

Carlos sits on the couch and leans forward, pressing his elbows into his thighs and his face into his palms.

I hit him playfully on the shoulder. "C'mon. It can't be that bad." I give out a nervous chuckle and wipe the side of my face that feels sticky due to dried champagne. I can't stop panicking, though.

Its been five minutes. Carlos hasn't spoken a word and my stomach is still rolling from anticipation.

He finally drops his hand.

"Nina."

When he glance at me his expressions falters, like he is worried that I'll dissappear. He faces forward again and I can see the roll of his throat. I try to give him an encouraging smile, which I am sure came out as a grimace.

He sighs and speaks. "She was my girlfriend for six years. And I would say my first real relationship."

I fold my arms around me, tighter and nod to tell him to keep going.

He is now staring out of the window. "I thought she was it for me and when she left ... well it was ugly for a couple of months." He clears his throat and when he looks at me, his eyes are piercing. "I was going to marry her. Or at least I thought I would. For six years she was a huge part of my life and that's why you hear about her from everyone."

I force a smile, but its a pathetic attempt. He sees right through it and I know it.

I am okay with him having a great relationship prior to ours. Hell, I'm more than okay. But I would be lying if I said, the mention of her on almost every gathering I have been to doesn't irk me at all.

He sighs quietly and then hold out his hand for me. I take it and sit next to him on the couch.

Carlos looks down at our hands and begins to trace the lines in my palm. "I'm sorry, Nina. I know her mention and how she is mentioned, must hurt you." He stares at me for a beat. "If you want, I can ask my friends to stop that."

"No, no. That's fine. I am okay with them mentioning her now that the air between us is clear. I wanted to hear about her from you. Their opinions don't matter." I lift a shoulder in a half shrug.

The curtness in his voice dissipates and some tension from his shoulders eases. "So were you jealous?" He asks pulling me close.

I sputter laugh. "Yes I was." I admit.

He turns now, facing me with expression full of amusement. "You know you have nothing to be jealous about, right?" He motions his hand up and down to himself. "This, is all yours."

I feel an immediate relief wash over me. Carlos composed demeanor about all of this is radiating a lot of calmness in me.

This was what I always wanted. To have a relationship where talking about things doesn't end up in arguments and needles butting of heads.

AFTER we shower the day off Carlos was playing F1 and streaming it with his friends and colleagues while I sat down to finish some work.

The room is buzzing with exasperated sighs, laughs or disappointed curses. There is also occasional miscommunication between them because of the language differences.

I am enjoying all of it. Unlike the real race on track that gives me hives, this one on screen gives some of my best laughs.

"No but we can be GOATS! Please keep that under DRS," Jeremy requests loudly. His voice changing pitches like my mood on periods.