Some Things Are Better Un-Said

Chapter 1- Regret.

When I was younger I had a normal family, that's what everyone saw. That was relatively true until the day my mom died.

After that day everyone felt pity for us, but they didn't see what was going on inside. My dad was a fucking narcissistic asshole who shouldve never been a father in the first place emotionally ruining his kids. When I was 6 all I can remember is all of Ena and dad's screaming matches. At first it was just screaming, I could put my headphones on and tune them out while crying. But when Ena got into middle school the fights got worse. They went from just screaming to screaming and throwing things. Plates, cups, pillows, picture frames, books. Then it progressed. Ena accidentally scratched him and he went ballistic and hit her knocking her into a wall.

I can remember all the rage I felt that day. One moment I was in my room and the next I was downstairs looking at all the broken objects, my sister barely conscious, and my dad. A monster.

It's my fault for throwing the first punch but seeing what that monster did to his own kid filled me with a new sense of rage which I have never felt before. I was only 10, I couldn't do much, but y'know what that didn't stop? Him from still hitting me, seeing me as an adult and hitting me like I was one. I fell to the floor choking out a scream of pain but I got back up and going to hit him again. It repeated on loop, over and over again. As my vision blurred I saw the blood on the floor. It wasn't his, or Enas, it was mine. That's when I knew that I didn't have a chance so I just helped Ena back to her room as the monster drank away his problems.

A few weeks later dad left for a business trip, so it was just me and Ena. I thought that we'd have a break from fighting. Little did I know that my sister had issues, bad ones. Pent up anger from not being able to fight back. I don't exactly remember what we fought over, but I know what happened. She  yelled and screamed more than ever before and when I told her to take a break and calm down she grabbed me with one hand and scratched my wrist and then swung her arm scratching me across the face. I held my face covering the claw mark and when I removed my hand there was blood on my hand, and when I looked down at my arm there was blood there too. She looked at me with such shame and regret in her eyes. Tears filled my eyes, I didn't recognize her. I still regret what I said next but what's said is said. "I thought you were better than dad.. but really you two are the same." That day I realized some things are better Un-Said.