Surviving This Forsaken World Vol. 1

-1.1- (Harry's Shortcoming)

Due to Harry's always laid-back, gentle manor, the headmaster knew he'd be the perfect match for Iris to get accustomed to first.

    She didn't realize the thoughts running through his head. He knew that by the way she relaxed when he accepted her request. She had nothing to fear.

     So Harry put on a fake smile and went on about his day. But now, two days later, he sweated underneath his spring uniform.

      As he stood underneath the shade of the Academy, he looked up at the pink and red sky. It was almost nightfall. Not many would be stirring for the classes as dinnertime came closer, and the villagers were starting to get nestled inside their make shift homes.

     It was the perfect time, all quiet and peaceful, to show her around. Harry turned to the freshly kept hedge on his right in the distance.

     "She'll be by the pond," was all Lady Katayama, the headmaster, told him before he went on his way.

     Harry took a deep breath before walking over to the hedge.

      This is where she is... Hidden in the garden...

     His pace quickened as he followed the pathway to the gate nestled inside the hedge. He couldn't stop now and let himself think back.

     Otherwise he'd turn around and run.

     Images of a certain boy leaning against Harry's chest as he cried flashed through his mind.

     Because of her... No I can't!

     Harry reached out, winding his long fingers through the hole in the metal gate. His knuckles turned white as he shook his head, as if to shake all his thoughts out.

     This isn't me. I can't!

     He knew what happened then. What really happened two weeks ago. He knew just how "deadly" this one girl was.

     And how dependent she was more than ever in her life.

     None of this is her fault...

     He thought of the young girl, her face frail and pale as she lay unconscious in her bed. This girl wasn't even capable of feeding herself  when she woke up. Much less causing such misery to unfold.

     None of this is her doing. I can't keep feeling this way.

     Harry's grip on the gate lessened, but only slightly. He knew in his head what must be done.

     So why wouldn't the stab of pain... and guilt... Go away in his heart?

     Even the thoughts of his mother's teachings couldn't sooth the battle within himself. Or the kind smile she always wore that etched itself into his brain.

     You're better than this, Harry Sakami. Your family would be ashamed to see this.

     "You know what must be done!" He knew they'd say. "We always take care of the ones that need it the most. Or we can't have pride in our family name."

     Mother... Father... If only you were by my side right now... Maybe than I'd have the strength...

     Because the faded echoes of their voices did no good to his heart either. Maybe if he was like a child again, clutching onto his mother's leg, he'd be able to gain back his strength.

     If only I could do this now... I'm almost a man... I have to force myself... I have to---

     The pain in his chest became sharp. There was just to much to think about. Too much to forget. It was too soon. Too fresh of a wound.

     Lady Katayama made the wrong choice, he thought as his fingers started slipping away. She only knows the me that I show her. Not... The monster I am now. A monster that'd blame a little girl. Just like the heathens in that village...

     "Y-Your sad..."

     Something soft brushed against Harry's fingertips. He jumped back, recoiling his hand.

     Two wide eyes stared back at him through the gate, glistening in the last light from the sun.

     There she is...

     Harry felt his chest was about to burst open in a swirl with pain. There was no turning back now...