Weakness Of An Alpha

Chapter Twelve: Elijah

I can't unseen that now.

That's highly disturbing and unfortunate. I wasn't expecting 'that' to happen in a fucking kitchen. Yeah, I shouldn't say the F word but do I care? No. I don't care.

My mother used to say ' Elijah, don't swear.' Elijah this, Elijah that. God, I get it. Okay?!. But... sometimes I wish I could have gotten more time with her.

She died last year in a horrific car accident. I was in the back of the car when it collided with an oncoming car coming the other way, and didn't give way. I survived, but my mother didn't. The impact that the car had, it slammed into her side door killing her instantly.

It... was horrific.

And, she was too soon gone.

My heart shattered that day. I never opened up about it. But, maybe I can now.

Making my way up the stairs, down the hallway and towards my bedroom where Anastasia was now asleep, and all curled up in the covers. She looks peaceful when she sleeps.

I walked into the bathroom and filled up the glass to the rim so, as not to overflow it. I turned off the sink tap and made my way towards the side placing the glass with water down onto the nightstand.

She took a glance at her face as pieces of her hair had fallen into her face. I brought my hand up, brushing the hair away when I felt my body getting warm up. I returned my hand sighed and walked to sit on my green chair. My eyes were still on Anastasia and brought my hand up to my mouth with my fingers brushing my lip, and crossed my leg onto the other.

As I stared at her, she reminded me so much of Ava. Ava was a big part of my life, and I know I shouldn't compare someone to a person I once knew was wrong. But, I don't know. I can't place my finger on it. Anastasia looks..different compared to Ava but not as different, different though.

Get it out of your head, Elijah. She's- gone. And you have to expect that.

I closed my eyes stinking myself in the chair with a head back like before when I tried to supposedly try to kill Anastasia. I felt guilty, yes. But, it was instinct I was in a deep sleep and I felt different I wasn't myself. I need to apologise to her but I wasn't the one who apologise to people often.

I fucked up, badly.

Placing a hand on my face with an unpleasant smile growing, and shook my head. I lifted my head when I heard a groan coming from my bed.
I looked over and slowly locked my eyes on her, body moving around and seated herself up against my bed frame. She looked like she had a good sleep.

I chuckled softly, seeing her hair all messed up and scattered around her face with bits of drool dripping down her mouth. Slowly getting up my chair and walked to her. I cleared my throat and saw her head snap towards me as her eyes widened big with a shocked expression on her face.

Putting my hands up to show her that I am no threat to her now and will never be. It seems she understood and slowly stinks herself down more. Her body looks tense.

"H-wh-" she sputters out but her throat sounded even more dryer. I grabbed the glass and handed it to her.

She looked at it for just a second before taking it from my hands as her fingers greased mine. I stiffened. What was that?!.

That was the weirdest feeling I have ever felt in my life. What the fuck was it?.

She brought the glass to her lips and took a massive gulp from the water as she moaned a bit from the dryness that eased her throat to make her speak more clearly. Her lips parted slightly ready to say whatever she wanted to say but it never came out.

I gave her a confused look before realising that maybe was she scared. Because of me. I gave her a guilty look and brought my hand towards her, but stopped. Her body froze and tensed even more, it was like she thought I was about to hit her or something. Which I wouldn't ever do because that is horrible.

Who did this? Did I do this? Do I scare her to death because my selfishness of instinct kicked in and was about to kill her?

Bringing my hand down towards my lap and whispered out, "You afraid of me, aren't you?."

Her head slowly moved towards me as her eyes locked with mine and saw fear in them. I knew it. She is afraid of me.

I sighed and began walking away from her to give space and for her to calm down. I know she is not angry or anything, she is just scared. Maybe even petrified of me.

But when I moved just a step, a hand grabbed my hand and I was frozen now. Her hand squeezes mine to tell me to not go and leave. It's like she wanted me to stay.

With her head still down I looked down and stared at her with a frown. Why did she want me to stay? Was it because she told me why she was scared? Maybe.

"P-please don't leave. I-I not afraid of you, it's just...-"She hesitates for a bit, and continues what she was saying with her lip between her teeth. "I was a bit scared, I'd admit but with you..I feel safe."

And there it was, everything that I had thought and said to myself that she was scared and she admitted it. But was scared enough to make her feel safe with me.

The shock on my face told her that she said something out of nowhere or something wrong. Which made her regret saying it and quickly withdrew her hand away.

"S-sorry, I shouldn't have said that." She mumbled out, her cheeks going a red-pinkish colour.

I smirked, "Didn't know that I make you feel safe, darling". With that being said, her face was red as red. It almost made me laugh as my smirk went wider and a chuckle escaped my mouth.