Saeko (BL)

Ch-6 Fragile Strings of the heart

My older sister is still alive in some people's hearts. That's what I feel when I look at Hikari.

Within two days, we got a call from Chirahu about the gallery details. The location was not too far away from our school, and we could go after the classes ended. The only issue remained, the event would only run for two days.

"Hurry up after the class ends today," I warned Hikari. "Don't get caught up in anything."
Yamato laughed at us, "I'd want to come with you guys too, but you see, I'm saving up money these days..." He trailed off. "Anyways, have fun!"
"Why aren't you saying anything?" I elbowed Hikari when he didn't speak for a while.
"Souma, your Class President has been glaring at me."
"You keep saying that all the time." I rolled my eyes. "She's nice once you get to know her."

Hikari left while showing his tongue childishly, and I should've talked to Kobayashi.

The last bell rang and all students went on with their usual club activities, casually chatting and slowly emptying out the building. I decided to wait at the gate. And I kept waiting. Where did he go this time? I told him we don't have much time before it closes for the day.

I felt really annoyed. I'd been looking forward to this. I may not know the reason, but I knew whatever stupid things we were doing, they also mattered to him. So, when he didn't show up after a long time and the gate was about to be closed for the day, I walked back to his class. I didn't see anyone there, so I started sending him emails. He did not see them. I was upset but also worried because I couldn't think of a reason he would ditch today.

Looking through the entire first-year floor, I heard noises coming from the staff room. I quickly slid the door open and what I saw, pissed me off. "What do you think you're doing?" I asked loudly and Hikari flinched forward, slowly turning himself to face me. He had a guilty look on his face.

"Souma... I'm sorry." Or so he said, sitting there alone in a dark room and painting a poster for some club. "I'm really sorry." He didn't meet my eyes either.
"You said you weren't in any clubs, what is this?" I walked closer and looked closely at his work.

And then he started telling me what happened. Someone had torn the handicraft club's poster into shreds, and they suspected it was him. "I don't really have friends to back me up, you see." He smiled sadly, colouring in the paper. His entire class ganged up against him and the teachers forced him to stay back and make it again. Or else they'd call his parents. "I didn't want to involve them... I'm sorry, even though I promised..." He didn't argue much.
"You could've told them you were with me." I said. "Why didn't you stand up for yourself?"
"Usually, it doesn't matter. I don't mind it much, something like this is easy to handle. But today I really didn't want to get caught up in anything. I'm sorry, Souma, I really am."

I stayed quiet as he kept colouring in. Then I remembered, Kobayashi was in the handicraft club, right? I told him the same and he only got more quiet. I still insisted he tell me what was on his mind. "She wouldn't help me... after all, she was the one who blamed me."

And that didn't make sense. "There must've been some misunderstanding."
"Yeah, right." Verbally, he agreed with me but his tone suggested that he didn't. "It's done." He said in a few minutes and stood up. "Who even joins such a boring club." He whined while rolling up the paper and putting it under a teacher's desk.
"I'm sure they have their own thing, you don't have to call it boring."
"You're really-" He started with a very frustrated voice, but quietened down. Today, he really seems on the edge. I don't want to make it worse.

I followed him out and he changed his shoes. "Do you like her?"
"Who?" Though I did have a basic idea of what he was implying.
"Your Class President, who else?"
"She's not bad. Who wouldn't like her?" That seemed to piss him off more.
"You'd say yes if she asked you out?"
"No. I don't like her that way. I just respect her for doing the Class President things."

He said an 'Oh,' before he continued. "Do you like any girl in our school?"

I thought about it for a few seconds. "In middle school, all my friends didn't let any girls play with us, so I didn't really think about it. Then Saeko... See, I don't think I'd be a good boyfriend right now, so I didn't really think about it."

"Okay, that makes sense." He popped out a piece of candy from his bag. He put it in his mouth and swirled it around a little, "Yuck, I shouldn't have bought this one."
"Just spit it out then."
"I have low blood sugar. I'll pass out right now if I don't eat sugar." I didn't know that. "I'm feeling a little weak, so I better digest this quick." He said in a happy tone;  confirming that he wasn't upset anymore, with whatever that he was upset about earlier. It should be me who's upset right now, though.

"Would your parents be upset if they were called? Are they that strict? I think my parents would believe me if I said that I didn't do it." His face changed again and I immediately knew it was the wrong thing to ask. "You don't really have to answer that," I added quickly.

He ignored me for a good while and then breathed out loudly. Maybe he was trying to calm down, or maybe I was just pissing him off constantly today. "Someday I'll tell you how I met your sister." He said. "Then, I'll tell you everything about me. I'll tell you so much that you'll get annoyed."

"I'll wait for that." Bingo. He smiled normally again, so that must've been the right answer.

"I'll tell you a little thing today since you're being nice." He moved the candy from his right to his left cheek. "I was like twelve or something, and I got scolded for something I didn't do. Actually, I didn't even get scolded, I just disappointed someone even though I had done nothing wrong. I was so sad, I'd run away from home to the park. Then, Saeko somehow found me hiding under the slide. She told me that I always hid in the park when I got upset, but no one else had noticed that, and it really embarrassed me. Then she praised me for taking the blame, she called me the best kind of person in the whole world and then she hugged me. The end."

"Wait, wait. Who was disappointed? And blame for what?" I didn't want to interrupt him, but he was leaving out a lot of details! And how long had he known my sister?!

"Nope, that's all you get today. Don't be greedy, Souma! If you cut open the chicken then it'll just die, no more golden eggs!" He laughed.
"You're the chicken, huh?"
"Yes." He deadpanned.
"This is stupid. Ugh."

So, we ended up not going to the gallery that day. Instead, I called Chiharu and apologized to her. She said that she didn't care as long as we bought tickets (that's what she was after) and that we could still see the painting if we'd help her clean up the place. 

But then again, I learned a few things. Hikari won't defend himself in many situations. He didn't have any self-respect in that aspect. And he knew Saeko for many years. For some reason, he still didn't want to tell me too many things; I think I understand why, though. He must be afraid that my only interest is in knowing about Saeko, and the moment I'm satisfied with my findings, I'd stop talking to him. That's fair for him to think... since I didn't let him know I appreciate the company too.

I just... don't want to say anything that'll make him stop talking to me. And I come very close to that boundary many times, I can see it on his face. Somehow, he still keeps coming back to me. I don't like people around me to feel burdened, so his way of thinking is not bad at all. I'm not sure though, one can only guess so much about a person.