Grian Oneshots

Unsure

Yes, I know it's been a while T_T But I'm back on wattpad! Yay! 

This oneshot is actually from my first ever Grian fic, I wrote it over a year ago XD

Enjoy! 

Warning: PTSD, self harm, panic attacks, crying, angst.

Thunder gripped the atmosphere. Torrential rain poured through the darkness, making it hard to see clearly. As Grian slowly watched everything fall, his friends crying out for help, his heart started to break. There was nothing he could do, he kept banging the air in front of him but it seemed impenetrable. He was screaming for help, an unstoppable flow of tears running down his face. He started hyperventilating, gasping for breath, but nothing could comfort him. He slowly felt himself drift into unconsciousness, but did nothing to prevent it. The feeling was unstoppable, it was taking over his whole body. Slowly everything went dark, the sound of the rain getting quieter and quieter when- 

Thump

Grian woke up to find himself on the floor by his bed. He was dripping with sweat, and panting heavily. He looked up at the clock. It read 5:24 am. Grian gave a shaky sigh and sat on his bed.

Grian has terrible PTSD, which is why he avoids sleeping as much as possible. No one knows except Mumbo. He understands, and helps Grian when he has a panic attack or starts to hyperventilate. He is afraid to tell the other hermits for fear they might reject him, but Mumbo is an exception. Mumbo would never reject Grian, no matter what happened.

Grian got up, and walked over to the window. He noticed it had been broken somehow, and saw a very sharp piece on the floor. He picked it up.

He couldn't do it, could he?

1..

2..

3..

He slowly drew it across his arm. Silky blood poured out, and ran down him. It was painful, but it felt.. nice? Somehow the physical pain counteracted the mental pain, and he felt better. He washed his arm off and put his sweater on. He needed to restock the barge, so he took some shulker boxes and went into his nether portal.

Once he had finished, he sat on the floor and thought about what he could do for that day.

Building?

No. He didn't feel like it.

Mining?

No. He did plenty of that yesterday.

The bored hermit sat for 20 minutes and still couldn't think of anything.

Why can't I do something useful for once?

Everyone else is busy with something.

Maybe all I'm good for is pranks.

That's no use to anyone.

That's just...annoying.

What if I'm annoying?

What if no one wants me on the server?

What if-

The tiny blonde's head filled with 'what ifs' and he started to shake. Before long his breathing got worse, and he started gasping for air. His face went pale and he realised he was having a panic attack.

Mumbo had given him a special code for when he was having a panic attack. He was to text 'panic' and his location.

He got out his communicator and somehow managed to get Mumbo's contact.