The Things That Make Us

Chapter 14

Hannah

"So Cannon, huh?" Seb says with a laugh, walking quietly into the kitchen, the next morning.

    "What?"

   I'm making a coffee - just pouring in the milk - and I only slept two hours last night. I'm half asleep and I have to go to work in half an hour, so coffee is the only thing I can think about right now. Did Seb really just ask me about Cannon?

 "I saw you with him," Seb goes on, accusations in his voice.

 Why the hell is he even up this early?

 "You saw me with him?" I repeat. "We were at the party together."

  "No. I saw you on top of him, with your tongue in his mouth," he explains.

  How does he still have a straight face right now?

 "Can you not talk about my tongue?"

  "Eww." Seb is finally smirking at me.

   "You said it."

    "I just don't get it. Why Cannon?" he wants to know, serious again.

  "Do I need to answer that?" I ask, not looking at him.

    "No." Seb spins away from me and opens the fridge. He pulls out the orange juice and then turns back around. "You don't. I just... I'm starting to... you know... care about you... and... Cannon is -"

  "Seb, I don't need a warning."

    "He's one of my best friends. He's fun and he's hilarious. But he's... got this dark side. Sometimes he just shuts down and I don't see him for a while."

  "I said I don't need the warning," I repeat, tightening my hands around my coffee mug.

    "Okay." He pours his juice into a plastic cup and then looks at me. "He's just got a sketchy past. I shouldn't even be telling you this, but... I'm sort of pissed he didn't tell me first. About you and him."

  "Seb, he didn't need your approval to kiss me."

  He makes a face at me. "Obviously not. But I've been through a lot with him. For him. He should have talked to me."

  "Sure. Maybe. But we're both eighteen," I go on, sipping my coffee. "Are you mad?" I want to know.

 "That you made out with Cannon? No," he answers.  "But Cannon is nineteen."

 Nineteen? Why did I not know that?

 Seb sees the confusion on my face. "He had to do tenth grade twice."

 "Oh."

 "That relates to his sketchy past." He drinks back the juice and then wipes his mouth, walking the cup over to the sink. "I just... I don't want you to get hurt. Plus he's leaving soon, for college."

 Soon? It's the middle of July. We should have at least another month together, right?

 "He'd tell me if he thought it was important," I say instead.

 "I think it's important, because..." But he trails his voice and doesn't finish the sentence. "Just talk to him, especially if it's at all serious between you two."

   "Yeah. It's all good, Seb. Thanks for your concern," I finish.

*

Cannon and I talk about a lot of things - movies, video games, music.  But we don't talk about him leaving. And I don't talk about my mom. Anytime it's brought up, I shut that down. He knows that I don't have it in me to talk about my abandonment issues. I don't ask about his family shit, either. Not after that party where he showed up with a beat up face.