The Things That Make Us

Chapter 10

Hannah

"This place is really nice," I tell Erin, a few hours later.

 I was already back at the beach house and changed out of the very sandy dress and into jeans and a nice top, by the time Erin got home this afternoon. I told her I was in the mood for pizza and she brought me here, to this fancy Italian restaurant, called Del's. We're sitting across from each other and my stomach is growling.

   "You said you wanted pizza. This is the best pizza place I know of," she says with a smile. "Matt took me here on our one of our first dates."

   "I've never been to a nice restaurant like this," I tell her, then shrug.

   "Damnit Hannah, you deserve so much more than -" She cuts herself off by biting her bottom lip, but I nod anyway.

  I know what she's thinking and what she wanted to say. She probably has been wanting to go off about my mom and how she shouldn't have left Clearwater with me all those years ago, for a long time. She's probably been biting her tongue so not to talk anything bad about my mom at all. I appreciate that, in a sense. But it's not like I don't know that my mom was in the wrong, at least partially.            

  We order two medium pizzas and some garlic bread and while Erin and I wait, I sip my root beer and stay mostly quiet. She's okay with paying for a dinner like this for my birthday. She's fine with me staying in her pool house. She's not asking me for anything in return. My mom's wrong. Erin is a good person and she might even care about me more than my mother ever did. I don't think I should say that out loud. I shouldn't even think it.

    "Hannah?" Erin asks, bringing me back to her. "You good?"

    "Yeah, sorry. Just thinking." I nod and blink a few times.

    "About anything in particular?" she wants to know, pushing up her glasses on her nose.

    "No." I shake my head. I definitely can't tell her that I'm thinking about my mom. 

    "How's work been? You doing okay with the early mornings?" she asks, even though we've talked about it already, earlier this week. Part of me wants to tell her about Cannon and how it's nice that he works right next door, but I bite my tongue. She doesn't know that Cannon and I even really know each other.

  I don't like keeping secrets. Not from Erin.

    "Yeah. Honestly, I like it. And it'll be so nice to make my own money. I can pay you, for rent or whatever, and-"

    "Hannah," she interrupts, eyes wide. "I did not invite you to stay with us and expect anything from you. You're here because you needed us and we're your family."

  I sigh, because I knew she'd say that. "I know... I just feel like I... It's already been a month." I sip my drink again.

    "A month is not a long time. It's like a tiny percent of time compared to how long you were gone," she tells me, and then pulls her own drink - water- towards her.

    "Okay," I say because I don't know what else to say.

  And then our pizzas are delivered to the table and I'm practically drooling before I take my first bite. It's the best pizza I've ever tasted. Erin looks satisfied with how much I enjoy it and when we are done, we take what's left with us in a take out box.

  In her car, on the way back to the beach house, Erin turns up  the radio and we just listen and don't talk. I don't even recognize the music but it's so nice to just have the window down and drive and not have to think or worry about anything for a little awhile.