The Things That Make Us

Chapter 15

Hannah

Something happened this week between Seb and Sabina. Even though neither Cannon or I know the details, we were recently informed that they are now broken up.

  Of course I want to know why, but I'm trying hard to respect Seb's privacy by not asking him.

  A few days later, Seb starts hanging out with Cannon and I, a lot. He only has two weeks left before he has to leave to get settled into his dorm, in London. I still feel like I just got here and that I haven't even known Seb long, and soon he'll be gone again. I'm not really looking forward to him leaving.

  "You guys mad that I'm third-wheeling now, til I leave?" Seb asks, as we cross the parking lot, towards the amusement park that we came to tonight.

  Cannon looks at me and then shakes his head. "Nope. You going to tell us what happened with Sabrina?"

   Seb glances between the two of us and then shakes his head. "Nope."

  I just force a smile at my cousin.

  "I'm leaving in thirteen days. How is that possible?" Seb goes on, walking just a bit behind Cannon and I.

  "You must be excited," I say, looking back at my cousin.

  It's a strange feeling knowing he's my blood relative but we didn't know each other for the last twelve years. It's even more strange knowing we'll be apart again, very soon. I feel connected to him in a strange way now.

  "More like terrified. Who's going to do my laundry and make me breakfast?" Seb laughs.

  "Your mom's going to end up in London with you," Cannon teases him.

 "Haha. No. She's gotta stay here and hang with her new bestie," Seb grins at me. "I heard you're staying with my parents."

   "Well... until I can save enough to get to get my own place..." I feel embarrassed for whatever reason.

  Cannon slips his hand into mine as we step into line to get tickets for the rides, but doesn't say anything. We sort of just pretend that I didn't bring up me visiting him at college, since it happened last week.  Things have been good since that day, but the elephant in the room is that he's leaving at the end of the summer and we aren't likely going to keep in contact. I'm trying hard to be okay with that, but thinking about September without either Cannon or Seb gives me stomach pains.

  At the top of the ferris wheel awhile later, Cannon pulls my hand into his lap and and leans his head on my shoulder. "I'm actually afraid of heights."

  "Really?" I ask him, surprised.

   "Yeah. This is freaking me out. I don't do this stuff."

  "I love being up so high, seeing everything from up here," I tell him.

  His eyes are squeezed shut. "I like being with you."

  I bite my tongue because I want to say if you like it, why don't you want to stay together when you leave? But I won't ruin this day. It's our last one like it. I know that. He's going to tour the campus and see his dorm on Monday. Then two weeks later, he'll be gone. I know this from hearing Seb tell Erin. Cannon hasn't directly told me any of that, because we don't talk about that stuff.

  I want to tell him that I'll miss him. I feel so much tightness in my chest thinking about not getting to see him every day. But I shove that all down and smile at him as the ferris wheels starts moving again. The moment has past. We have to move on.