chris sturniolo imagines *ੈ✩‧₊˚

are you embarrassed of me ?

chris has always had trouble with commitment. when he first found out i had a crush on him, he avoided me for nearly a month. nick just might be the reason we're together today. chris doesn't like being all lovey-dovey in public, or even around his brothers. he hates dates, or anything drawing attention to us. i've tried to be very understanding of this, considering he is a content creator and probably would want our relationship more of the internet. but, a big part of our relationship i want to be showing him off. i want to kiss in front of all his friends, i want to post him on my story, i want to take him to all my favorite stores in downtown LA, i just want to be his girlfriend.

though i am his girlfriend, sometimes it doesn't feel like it. recently, he's been very distant and very avoidant, like he usually his, but like... 6092x worse. he wont sit next to me, has barely kissed me, and showed little to no affection. even matt and chris have noticed as they have tried to get chris near me in any kind of way.

"hey y/n, can you and chris go to the store to pick up some more pepsi?" 

chris' eyes immediately meet matt's, giving him very obvious NOOO signals. "i could, yeah."

"uh, i don't need anymore pepsi right now, thanks matt." chris fiddles as he lowers his head. i watch all of this from the kitchen table where nick and i are making bracelets. chris is across the room on the couch finishing tangled. "chris, you only have 3 left, that wont last you 5 hours."

"it's fine matt,"

i don't know why chris has been like this. i can't even remember the last time i hugged him. he just wouldn't let me near him with all his might. all this has been really hard on me, his birthday just passed and i didn't even see him or call him or text him all day. i wasn't invited to the movies or the escape room, but friends he hasn't seen since his first LA trip got to go. i've been in chris' life way before youtube, since maybe early high school. my brother played sports with chris and matt, and had a crush on the same girl matt did. chris and i have always liked each other and we know each other like no other, but i don't understand why i can't figure out this stupid act he's putting on right now.

"it's okay, y/n." nick grabs my hand from the string that laid in my hand. i guess he noticed the somber look i had on. "hey, i don't know what going on with chris, but trust me and matt will talk to him. he loves you, y/n. i know he does and you do too. i'm sorry he's acting like this." he softly smiles before continuing his bracelet.

"i'm just gonna go take a nap. thank you nick, i love you." 

walking down the stairs to chris' room, tears fall rapidly form my eyes. at this point, i can't control it. i don't like feeling like this. i hate it actually.  i've tried to be strong and not be a crybaby but at this point i can't even tell if this is all my fault. i genuinely don't know what i did. i want to talk to chris, i want to figure out what the fuck is wrong with him, but i can't with him doing this. once completely in his room, harsh sobs escape. i keep it quiet because i don't want anyone hearing. at this point, all i can think of is why. i cuddle up against the stuffed animal i bought chris for christmas. it was a medium sized purple dinosaur named lewie. my eyes couldn't help themselves but get heavier as they released more tears. 

upstairs i could hear nick, matt, and chris fighting, chris pinching and matt kicking.

hours later.. 8:12pm chris monologue. 

y/n has been downstairs for hours now. i want to talk. but i can't. a month, 9 days, and 7 hours ago y/n said she loved me. have we been dating for 11 months, yes. but we had never said she loved me before. ever. not when we were friends, or the in between. of course i love her, i do, but i thought it was obvious. i didn't expect her to be so upset..