lee heeseung - breathe

- seven -

You lay in bed later that night staring at the canopy of your bed. You and Heeseung were certainly getting closer. You didn't like to admit it to yourself, but the reason you didn't want to be close to him was the risk of catching feelings. Alas, your assignment called for it and you were progressing further the closer you got with him. You turned over and pulled the bedsheets tighter over your shoulders. Squeezing your eyes shut, you wished you'd gotten a glass of milk for yourself as well.

———

You tightened the tie at the waist of your clothes and slid your dagger into the small decorated sheath at your hip. You were still unused to carrying it around unconcealed and felt frankly very naked, as if all eyes were on you and you only. Of course, that was untrue, they were on Heeseung's solemn face and the glinting crown nestled in his dark hair.

You knocked on the door in between your rooms and waited a moment to see if he would answer. When he didn't, you called out. "Hello? You are awake, right? Your High-"

"Come in!" You heard a shuffle and a soft thump followed by scrambling. You swung the door open and stepped through. You frowned. "What are you doing?"

Heeseung smiled at you sheepishly. His hair was standing up at the top of his head and he was half in his clothes. "Uhh...I got stuck." His cheeks had become splotched with faint colour. He stared at the ground and waved his hand about helplessly from above his head. "I have a meeting with a possible bride today so I wanted to wear my special occasion clothes." He wiggled his hand again. "I usually have people help me but uh..."

You sighed and walked towards him. After a moment of scanning, you pulled roughly on the hem and it slid properly onto his body. Heeseung let out a relived sigh. You crossed your arms. "You're getting married?"

Heeseung grimaced. "I'm being forced to. I can only say no so many times." He smiled at you as he clattered with some rings, sliding them up to his knuckles. "I would rather not get married to those girls. I don't know them well, I'm not interested in them. Perhaps if I were I would agree, but I'm not."

"Are you interested in someone then?" You hopped up onto his vanity, startling him slightly and tugged your dagger out of the sheath to play with it. Heeseung laughed lowly under his breath. "I can't say."

"Why?" You flipped your dagger once more and frowned. Heeseung tugged on a pearl bracelet and fixed his gaze on you. The velvety darkness of his brown eyes bore right into your soul. You bit on the inside of your cheek hard. A small spot of copper bloomed onto your tongue. "What? Why- why are you looking at me like that?" You muttered. Heeseung leaned onto the vanity and whispered. "Why's it important to you who I like?"

You hopped off and indignantly crossed your arms, back to Heeseung. "It's not!" You didn't dare face him. "If you're ready meet me outside." As subtly as you could, you stomped off towards his doors, into the anteroom, and out into the middle of the corridor. You glowered at the startled guards and waved them off. "I've got this."

A minute or so later, Heeseung joined you. You smiled wryly at him as you began walking, a step or so behind him out of respect. You walked in complete silence for some time, surrounded by nothing but Heeseung's royal air and the paintings staring at you from both walls. You cleared your throat as you turned a corner. "Your Highness. Although I go with you everywhere, I don't understand what you do all day. You're mostly in your room or in your studies and sometimes you eat with His Majesty the King and Her Majesty the Queen. Why is that?"

Heeseung laughed softly. "Do you recall when I told you that most know me by name and not face?" He glanced back at you to see you nodding as you plodded along. He continued, "It is because they don't care for me other than the fact that I am the Crown Prince and the only child of Her Majesty. I am always stuck in my studies to be a good ruler- at least by their terms."

"I don't understand." You stared at his heels, clipping in and out of your vision as you advanced.

"A good king would connect with his people." Heeseung breathed. "My father is not a good king." You could barely hear his voice. "His Majesty rules this land through power and power only. If not for the countless nannies I was raised by, I fear that I may have grown to be as cold and insolent as my parents."

You grabbed one of Heeseung's wrists, bringing you both to a halt. There were no guards down this hallway, there were no guards down most hallways. Only once in a while and posted at the doors to significant rooms. Heeseung stared at you, raising both his eyebrows quizzically. In contrast, you furrowed your eyebrows. Your voice came out quietly. "And they're getting you married because you're of age, they'll retire soon, and they want you to have a queen?"

"That's right." Heeseung whispered. "I will meet a girl today. I don't know who I'm intended to meet or where she's from- but I know that as I have every time, I will refuse. I don't want marriage." He slid his hand into yours and you stiffened slightly. "And I don't want to ruin those women's lives by trapping them in queendom of this terrible kingdom."

You barely comprehended that last words that passed through his lips. You were staring at his hand wrapped around yours. Immersed in the hot feeling coursing through your veins. "What are you doing?" You whispered pointedly. Heeseung smiled. "I hope that one day you'll see me the way I see you."

You gaped at him, your mind reeling as he dropped his hand and continued walking. You stood still watching as he grew further from you. Forcing yourself to snap out of the strange daze, you jogged after him until you were once again only a couple of paces behind. "What?" You hissed. "You mean as a killer, don't you? Say that again!"

You watched his hair move as he shook his head. You huffed in annoyance.