lee heeseung - breathe

- six -

Smiling. Why were you smiling?

Both you and Heeseung creeped through the shadows of the castle in your nightclothes. You led him, leaping agilely past corners while he stumbled after you. You stifled a laugh when he all but ran into you. "Are we going the right way?" You whispered. Heeseung nodded, his breath hot on the curve of your ear. "I think it's over there past the servant's quarters."

You nodded and spared yourself a glance up at him. It was a mistake. Your smile dropped and you bit your cheek hard. The castle was only dimly lit at night by oil lamps every so often down the corridors. That soft glow cast buttery orange shapes over his cheekbones and glinted like little flames in his eyes. He looked like a mystical oil painting that had somehow come to life. Your breathing was strangely ragged. You shifted slightly so you were facing him. Your heart fluttered like it wanted to fragment your ribcage. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Heeseung." You breathed. He smiled slightly. "What happened to 'Your Highness'?"

You gasped for words like a fish out of water and turned around quickly. He was so warm against your shoulder blades, his fingers pressed gently to your elbow, his breath sweeping across the back of your neck. You moved away and were met by a rush of cold hitting the bare skin above the collar of your nightgown at the back. You continued to stalk forward, around the turn and pushing past the main kitchen entrance. Heeseung followed soon after, shutting the door gently behind himself. He tailed after you like a puppy as you searched around for milk.

"Hey." He gently touched your shoulder, stopping you in place. You didn't look at him, instead, you stared at the glass bottle of milk you had discovered. Heeseung's voice was painfully sweet. "Are you okay?"

You turned slightly to find him smiling sadly. You were frowning. You forced your lips to turn upwards and softly touched his hand to brush it off your shoulder. "I'm fine, Your Highness."

He dropped his hand and stared at you with his eyebrows furrowed in a strange way. He was holding his hand to his chest as if you had physically shocked him. You turned away from the prince and commenced with finding matches to turn on the stove. Once you'd lit the stove, you combined milk, honey, chopped almonds, ground turmeric, and cinnamon.

Heeseung was leaning against a countertop and watching you in silence. The milk frothed and bubbled as you poured it into a glass. You held it out for him. "Hope it helps."

Heeseung smiled it at you and accepted the glass, cradling it in his hands and blowing the steam of the top. "I want to know why you're so stingy."

"I'm not stingy." You leaned against the counter beside him and glowered at the floor with your arms crossed.

"Yes you are." He took a sip and sighed warmly. He waved a hand as he spoke. "You want to be close to me but you won't let me close. I don't- I don't even know why you wanted that. Why did you search me out?" He frowned at you.  You sighed and let him drink his milk. The silence between the two of you was thick and uncomfortable. "I...don't know." You finally said. You grasped desperately for whatever words you could find and attempted to form a cohesive sentence. "I just...needed to."

Heeseung sipped his milk. "Sure, because that's believable." He set down the empty glass of milk with a soft clink and you raised your eyebrows at how fast he'd finished. He crossed his arms and faced you. "Tell me." He whispered. "No matter the reason, I won't hate you. I can't bring myself to."

"Why?" You pleaded. "Why?" You took a step forward and grasped his hands tightly. He seemed slightly startled by the motion. You could feel his warmth seeping into you. "You should hate me. I'm a terrible person."

"A terrible person wouldn't save my life." Heeseung mumbled.

"Is that why?" You cried. "Is that the only reason? You shouldn't trust someone just because they've done some good!"

"No!" He squeezed your hands and leaned in towards you. His breath smelled sweet and warm from the milk. Comforting. "I..." He stared at you in a way that made you want to tear yourself into little bits and pieces. His face was open and pretty like the moon, his eyes were sad and pleading, he looked innocent like a fawn. "It's you." Heeseung said. He was almost hysterical, blabbering and eyes brimming with wetness. "Everything about you, because-"

"Heeseung." You squeezed his hands in your hold. He frowned. Your felt your heart stutter and pressed yourself closer to him, voice dropping to a whisper. "Do you hear that?" You felt Heeseung stiffen against you as the faint sound of a guard's voice passed through the kitchen walls.

You glanced up at his calculating expression, "We have to lea-"

Heeseung grabbed you by the arms and pushed you to the ground. You crashed against a wall and squeezed his biceps hard to stifle a screech, "What the fuck are you doing?" You whispered. Heeseung was cradling you to himself, his head tucked in by your neck. "You don't know this," He whispered, "But most of the guards and employees of our castle don't know me by face, only by name." You felt him squeeze you when footsteps passed in the hall nearby. "So that guard would not be delighted to find us here."

"How is this help-"

"Shh." Heeseung shoved the both of you deeper into the corner, and as a result of that action, you realized your position. Heeseung had tactically pressed you both into the wall behind a pile of bags of flour, successfully concealing you from anyone who might pass by. That being said, he was so close you could feel and hear his heartbeat. One of his hands was curled around the back of your neck, his fingers just barely grazing your skin and his knees were on either side of your hips. He ducked his head closer to your ear. "I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable."

You reached up and ran your hands up his chest, grasping at the silky material of his shirt. Your breathing was heavy and uneven. "It's okay. I'm okay."

Heeseung chuckled under his breath then stiffened when the kitchen door banged open. The stale midnight air seemed to be holding its breath. You too, were holding your breath.

The guard's armour clinked as they walked around. There was a moment of silence as the thump of their footsteps halted. "Hello?" The guard called. You and Heeseung were both frozen like a garden mouse stilled by fear when hunted by a cat. Eventually, the clinking of the guard's armour resumed and the kitchen door swung closed with a gentle thump. You both let out heavy sighs and Heeseung pulled away without a second to spare.

For a moment, you both stared at each other in silence.

Then, you were laughing, and he was laughing, and you were both giggling like fools behind the piles of flour sacks.