wish you could see me

my life without love.

eddie never had a loving childhood, his father was a drunkie. his mother was basically a caregiver for eddies father, giving eddie no attention. to the point it got so bad, eddie was always getting picked up by wayne. he'd always call wayne crying in his room, staying quiet so his father wouldnt come into his room and yell at him. wayne would never forget how shaky eddies voice was when he was getting called by him, neither of eddies parents noticed wayne picking him up half of the time.

 the silence in waynes car while he rode eddie to the trailer, eddie always hated his name. edward, it always shouted by his father when he'd get home all drunk. when eddie was faced with his father, he reeked of alcohol and sweat. the smell being sickening to eddie, by now eddie was used to it. "y'okay, edward?" wayne would break the silence, eddie felt it harder not to break down again. it was always when wayne asked if he was okay, that he felt everything in him break. feeling some sort of attention, eddie would just give wayne a slight nod.

 "y'dad give you a haircut kid?.." wayne said again, looking over at eddies head. he did indeed, during his drunk fit before eddies mother got home shaved eddies head while he sobbed. said he looked like a female with his long hair, said he looked like his mother. eddie never knew why his father hated his mother so much, she was the person who cared about him more then her own kid. eddie just nodded, looking out the window as he watched cows in a field go by as he counted the cows. wayne always remembered the day his mother introduced eddie to him, he was probably 5 around that time.

 he was like a mini of his mother, he was hiding behind her leg as he shyly stared up at wayne and he had her eyes, her brown beautiful eyes. eddie was woken up in the middle of the night to wayne arguing with his mother about how she barely pays attention to the kid and that she doesnt deserve the kid, he could hear his mother crying. eddie just stayed in bed, covering his head with the covers as he stayed quiet. wayne soon got all rights against eddie, one night wayne left cigarette buds outside.

 eddie went outside to get some air, his head pounding as he sat at the stairs. looking around before looking down at the ground, noticing the cigarette buds.. he found one that was "still good" as he sneaked back into the trailer, grabbing waynes lighter and rushing out of the trailer. being the little shit he is as he put the cigarette butt to his lips, lighting the cigarette as he took a drag from it. the smoke filling his lungs as he coughed hard, eyes watering a bit as he groaned. it was a bad idea yeah, but eddie went back again.

 taking another drag, he didnt even cough this time. he stared up at the stary night as he blew out the smoke, wayne soon flipped at eddie about it once he found out from one of eddies "friends".

 "what the hell were y'thinking boy?! dont you know how bad that is for you.?" - "im sorry uncle wayne.." eddie muttered quietly, staring down at the ground. "i- its fine boy.. just dont do that again. i didnt mean to freak out, you know i care bout you." wayne sighed, as eddie felt tears rush to his eyes at those words and giving wayne a nod as he sniffled. "shit.. cmere kid.." wayne pulled eddie into a hug as eddie latched onto wayne, breaking down and sobbing into waynes shoulder. when wayne found out that eddies father went to jail, he didnt know either to keep it a secret from eddie or tell him.

 wayne wasnt the best at telling people news, so he stayed quiet. but boy did eddie found out quickly, quiet sniggers from everyone in the hall to eddie. some even said "look its munsons kid! think he'll end up in jail like his fuck up father?" the kids would laugh, he hated his father. he hid in the bathroom stall, crying into his knees as he sniffled. once he got home, he slammed the door of the trailer as tired wayne looked over at eddie who was sobbing.

 he figured that eddie knew, or that something happened at school. "kid.. whats wrong?" wayne said as he got up, going over to eddie. "why didnt you tell me?! everyone was making fun of me at school!" eddie sobbed, covering his face as wayne cursed under his breath. "shit.. kid- i was gonna tell you but-" - "but what?! but you didnt want to hurt me? well everyone knows now! your an asshole!" eddie said, storming to his room as he slammed the door. that was the first time wayne had seen eddie freak out at him, he wasnt even mad. 

he honestly deserved it, he should have told him. after that, eddies grades were dropping. gotten multiple calls from the school, said some kids were bullying eddie and his attention was poor to class. wayne soon found out eddie had ADHD, one midnight in hawkins. wayne was woken up to a loud knock to the front door, he cursed under his breath as he got out of bed.

 going to the door and opening it to see chief jim hopper, holding eddie by the back of his shirt as eddie looked at wayne. "was a nice surprise to see your nephew hanging out with some people down at the arcade smoking cigarettes." jim said to wayne as he sighed, rubbing his eyes. "i said i was sorry chief!" eddie said as jim pushed eddie to the door as he went inside. "if i see that kid around after midnight, theres gonna be trouble wayne." - "yes sir.. very sorry, it wont happen again." once jim left, wayne shut the door.

 sighing as he rubbed his eyes, he wasnt in the mood for yelling at eddie as he just told him to go to his room. wayne wasnt ready for once eddie was in highschool, each every day wayne tried his hardest to listen and help eddie. but he was always so busy with nights at the plant, he made sure eddie had a good birthdays every each year and with how little of money they had.. he worked his ass off. got eddie his first guitar, helped eddie get his van.. he made sure that kid had a good life from what he was having. 

there was this hard test eddie had to pass, wayne came home to eddie crying on the couch.. the piece of paper from the school on the coffee table as wayne dropped everything, rushing over to eddie. "kid- come on, talk to me.." wayne said, trying to calm down eddie. "im fucking dumb.." eddie said, as wayne sighed..looking over at the paper. turns out eddie failed, wayne let out a shaky breath. 

"boy, dont say that. youre not dumb, youre the smartest kid ever." wayne softly patting eddies shoulder, wayne had said the same thing when eddie failed the test again. he remembers when eddie and him were outside, eating sandwiches because they needed to get out of the house but didnt have enough money to go some place fun. 

"so.. eddie huh? why that name?" wayne said as he looked at eddie, as he shrugged. "i just like it more." that was a lie, eddie liked it more because it wasnt the name edward.. his fathers name. "well already son.. eddie it is." wayne gave eddie a slight smile as he ruffled up eddies hair, eddie was so lucky to have wayne. he was his bestfriend besides gareth, and jeff. and grant. wayne was his best friend, no one could ever change that.. or so eddie thought.