Guerreiro Tavares trained half of his life to be in a mercenary guild. Assassinated people and served criminals. A corpsman when he was in the Navy SEAL but perplexed when he was mandated to watch over a woman in a vegetative state.
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I GAINED WEIGHT. I twisted my arms around. They're not bone-to-skin anymore. Eating nothing but those Russian MREs improved this body. It really tells a lot about my situation.
This looks like a little more me before I was taken.
There are good and shit meals but I’d preferably have it than have loaves for the rest of my days. It is also unhealthy, but what choice do I have?
It makes me abhor the food albeit I know I shouldn’t. It brought horrific events and made me weaker considering that it was meant to lose me some weight. If it weren’t for the water in the faucet, my stomach would always be hollow.
The cage was better since no one touched me but it is worse for my health.
Three days since we sheltered in the cabin. The snow is still raging. Tav was attentive to my wound. He really wanted me to return to Lorik’s hell, huh?
Despite that, he is always respecting my private space and he is not touching me as much as he could.
Nevertheless, there is still a part of me that is afraid that he will rape me anytime just like his co-soldiers would do if they were here.
Begging or resisting him is a no-go. I need to plan some escape while we're here at this cabin because it'll be more impossible if I do it in Lorik's. My soles won’t touch the floors of that hell again.
Just thinking of going back there makes me want to puke. I will be punished because I ran away. It'll be worse than the broken wrist that I had.
I don’t have a fever anymore but the cold is kind of pulling me back. When I try to hide, it will be difficult to contain my sniffles and coughs.
While I was ill, my body was too exhausted to move. I was just lying down and what a miracle, Tav still has humanity in him as he was preparing my meals on the table, already heated up.
The cold shower in this cold weather is also not helping. Being careful with my bullet graze takes so much effort.
I have nothing but my thoughts these past few days because Tav has been quiet which I prefer. I'd rather have him be brooding and not say a word because when he does, everything that comes out of his mouth was solely directed to hurt me.
He is not really a talkative person unlike some of the soldiers. Often, I saw him roll or narrow his eyes, glower at someone, and observe his surroundings. But when he talks? I really wish I could zip his mouth forever. His comrades' words are disgusting and imprinted in my head but his are just plainly brass, unfiltered, and cruel.
Or threats that I am aware he could deliver.
To say that I was heartbroken when he mentioned that I would have hurt my family is an understatement. I'd rather have all this pain alone than see them suffer or worse, dead because of me.
