(angst)Atsushi fics -sskk-

Too deep...pt2

This is kinda long BTW.

⚠️TW: sh ,ed/emetophobia , suicide 

(Suicide the whole chap)

Atsushi POV:

'I wonder if they'll care?' I thought . I had a plan to night and I don't care about what it does to me or what it does to the people around me , I'm just gonna do it.

This decision was final , but it would've been better if it weren't. I hummed to myself as I skipped home , I was very happy and only realised it when I stopped to open my door.

I unlocked it and didn't bother to lock it was I wasn't going to be here for long anyway . Thinking of that made me giggle , my smile then dropped of my face as I felt the thirst of blood become stronger. I rushed up stairs , only making myself slower since I was stumbling over anything and everything. 

I look at the bathroom , it was rather messy. 'I might as well tidy it up , I don't want to be in a messy place when I die , do I!' . I fished tidy up the bathroom which took longer then expected,  but that doesn't matter anyways!

I opened the cabinet door looking at the shiny bit of metal staring at me , I was about to go grab it but my stomach was stopped by the sink . I moved my attention to my belly 'wow im fat aren't I' I grabbed my waist as there was actually no fat to grab. "Disgusting." I said aloud , 'I should really get rid of this , i don't want to look fat when I die!"

⚠️TW:

I leant over the toilet , I was sat on the cold floor which for some reason made me feel even more sick. I stuck two fingers down my throat making me gag as I felt my throat start to bubble,  I removed my fingers that was quickly followed by a large amount of vomit.

I look at it with disgust . "Ew." Everything i had ate to day was in the toilet, it's not like it was much anyway. I stood up and wiped my fingers of on a bit of tissue.

⚠️TW over :

I leant back on the wall sighing , a lot of that happiness that i had coming back had now faded.

I was now a mess , one no body could understand.

(Third person)

Tears formed in his eyes , he was pathetic,  he had no use , no meaning to life and no body to stop him.

He had no one to stop him.

He looked back up at the half open cabinet door , he vision still blurry from the salt tears that stained his cheeks.

He stood up grabbing onto the sink for support then grabbing the cold metal blade,  oh how he loved this feeling so much and the shivers it sends down his spine.

He sat and the floor rolling up his sleeves , he bought the blade to his arm akutagawa's words rining in his head "I hope this make you happy , Aku."

⚠️TW:

He pressed down hard shashing his arms deep it going white for a split second before it started gushing out blood . Again and again and again , he just couldn't stop. He kept carving crimson red line on to his already wounded body . He cut went deeper and deeper.

After both his arms were bleeding out every where he looked at a clean side that only had some dips of blood on them with out he slit both his wrists , really deep.

He went too deep.

His mind was foogy as he blade fell to the floor as he was to weak to hold it . His eyes were gushing with tears almost as bad as his arm , the floor was painted red with blood his head ringing as it throbbed . He closed his eyes but then he heard someone calling his name he wasn't sure who though.

He saw the bathroom door open as muffled screams came from the two silhouetts in front of him. His conscious slipped and everything went black as the ringing got louder.

⚠️TW over:

Dazais POV: (a few hours earlier)

'Atsushi seemed a bit of today' I was lost in my thought until I bumped into someone , it was chibi.

"Sorry chibi , didn't see you there you're so small!"

"SHUT YHE FUCK UP YOU CUNT"

"Yeah whatever , anyways wanna grab a coffee with me?"

Chuyaa scoffed "Fine."

We started to walk in silence which was quickly brocken by chibi .

"Why so lost in thought anyways , something happen?" He ask curiously. 

"Something like that."

I opened the cafe door holding it for chuyaa to walk in , me following in shortly after , but only because I wanted to check him out of couse!

I looked around to see akutgawa in the corner sipping on a tea looking out the window. 

"Hey aku!" I waved as I walked over , I sat opposite akutagawa and chuyaa sat next to me.

"Oh um hello dazai-san." He said coughing a bit.

Chuyaa then turned to me "so you gonna tell me what happened or not?"

"What happened?" Akutgawa said , intrigued. 

I usually speak my mind , but for some reason I've been very quite about this.

"Um Atsushi was acting weird today  and just gave off a really bad vibe." I said sternly.

"Why what did he do?" The short red head replied. 

"Well this morning he seemed very tiered and then when he got back he was all beat up and seemed really down-"

I was cut short by akutagawa.

"Oh yeah I was the one who beat him up sorry , he was getting really annoying."

"As I was saying.. near the end of the day he seemed like really happy but not just normal happy."

"Wtf do you mean 'not normal happy' " chuyaa snapped

"It was like the type of happy you'd get from the thrill of doing something bad."

"Whatever you're trying to get at , I don't think I'm liking it ."

"Yeah neither am I..."

I looked over at akutagawa who looked a little shocked and was fiddling with his fingers.

"Are you ok aku?"

Chuyaa said beating me to it.

"U-um yeah.." It was quite obvious he was lying.  But we ignored it as it didn't look to bad.

Akutagawa's POV:

'Shit. He wouldn't take what I said to heart would he ? No way he's to stupid for that.. but I did take it a bit far this time. For fuck sake this stupid jinko it driving me crazy. Apparently he was happy when he left work , but why would he be happy after a day like that?' 'It doesnt fucking matter anyways..he's to happy for that kind off shit.'

PART 3 SOON:)