tw: sewerside mentions + swearing
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what's going on?
i sobbed all night long, in his bed.. and the night felt like forever. his body hanged there, i didnt dare touch it. "oh akito." i muttered. "my dear brother. we may argue but.. i still love you, yeah? your so stupid. you should've done it this way. anything but you- you.. anything but shit like this!" i threw the paper on the ground, stomping on it multiple times. i remember the day he approached me and suddenly told me, "ena, one day.. you'll have my nintendo 64." HIS nintendo 64. i should've known. this is my fault. i should've checked up on him. im at fault here. how could he leave me like THIS? when i said "then leave"- i didnt mean it like this. oh my dear, stupid brother, akito. you could've just.. done anything else but the cause of your death. why? you know damn well that people say shit when they're mad. i was mad. and i regret it. i cant even remember why we were arguing. if i kill myself right here, right now, will i see you again? in hell, i bet. please just get up. tell me this is all a joke. just tell me that this is all a joke. a sick joke. but.. i wont be mad. i promise, i promise. pinky promise. i swear on my life. just get the fuck up and tell me that all this shit is fake. did you really think i can live on for you? everything has been awful nowadays. your selfish. selfish for leaving me here. you know so fucking well i wont do good without you. if i died first, you'd live on, right? if you died, i'll die too-.. YOU IDIOT! WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS. HOW AM I GOING TO LIVE ON NOW? yeah.. yeah.. thats right. i could just kill myself too. LIKE HOW YOU DID! SELFISH IDIOT- *ring* "h.. huh?" i pick up my phone, "hello?" no reply.. no.. reply? just like.. last night.. i- shit. i cant be thinking like this. "mizuki? mafuyu? kanade?" no reply.. again. i hang up. but it rings again. "hello?" no reply. i hang up, it rings again. ".. hello?" no reply. i hang up, it rings again. "what?" no reply. i hang up, it rings again. i throw my phone against the wall. "STOP MESSING WITH ME." i yell. i look back to where akito was supposed to be. "a.. kito?" i called out. akito is gone. everything in his room is gone but the rope and chair. its getting harder to breathe, yet i still call out for akito. its like im in a black box. it closes in. slowly, but surely. is my only escape the rope? is my only escape his death? i get on the chair. i hesitate but slip the rope through my head. i kick the chair and wait for my death. i wake up, in akito's room. his body is missing. i.. cant move. i cant move at all. not even a muscle. everything is quiet. my vision is blurry. suddenly, i hear my own voice from outside his door. "akito?" i.. no. she called out. i didnt reply. "im sorry, i didnt mean anything. i dont hate you. you.. if you were never born, i.." that thing outside the door didnt finish her sentence and just sighed instead. "akito, please. come out." she begged... wait.. akito? im.. akito? im not- im ena. ena shinonome! akito- im not him?! the door gently opens, "akito-... !!" whatever that is that looks like me froze in place, its mouth was open and quivering as tears swelled up. it fell to its knees. i still cant move. my hearing is fading. my vision is fading too. everything is fading. is this what akito felt? i dont like this. not one bit. and im sure that this.. was yesterday. but it feels different. its like.. this thing that looks like me is happy that I- well.. akito died? i just have to get out of here- what. the. fuck? that thing- it stabbed me-? it chuckled, that thing is certainly not me. it stabbed me again. it hurts. it stabbed me again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. and again. please. no. more.
...
i suddenly jolted up in sweat. i rush to akito's room, its unlocked. "please." i muttered. akito was there, asleep in his bed. i go up to him. he's breathing. he's alive. i sighed out of relief. it was all.. an awful dream.
right?
(a/n: you decide if this really is a good end. and by that, i mean that if akito is actually alive and that ena didnt just place him there to try and convince herself that akito is still alive. like- i was planning to make this into a "good" end but i didnt go through with that plan :3)
