The Humancentistuck (Epic Crossover)

🖤 ~ The Beginning ~ 🖤

Tears blurred the ex-doctor's vision, salty wet disgustin' tears dripped onto the photo of Dirk's past creation, which was well lit by the sunlight pouring through the car's window. His smuppets. His precious smuppets, three of them all attached to each other; ass to mouth. The pathetic creature will be missed.

Anyway, none of that matters. Some big as fuck truck just pulled up behind him, some weirdo scurrying out of it with a roll of toilet paper in hand. Wonder what that's about, only one way to find out. Dirk gets out, circles the vehicle and opens the back door, he grabs his favourite tranquilliser rifle and follows the aforementioned weirdo into the woods. The trucker squatted down and took the shit of a lifetime behind a bush. L.O.L. The doctor raises the rifle, and does the thing you do with a rifle. Shoot people.

"Hey, where's the nearest club and is it any good?" Vriska chattered on her phone, legs swinging on the motel bed, waiting for her travel partner to FINISH DOING HER DAMN HAIR ALREADY. Said travel partner, who sometimes went by the name Terezi, was doing the finishing touches when she got a call from her least favourite friend. "Ugh, Gamzee is calling." her blind eyes rolled so far back into her head, she could see her brain. "Yo whatcha doing muthafuckerrrrr" the greasy ass clown moaned into the phone receiver. "Oh uh, nothing, just getting ready to head out to the club with my girl Vrisky" she doused her head in hair spray, getting it in her mouth.

"What about you?" she coughed.
"Oh nothin' much, just thinking of you, baby girl." Terezi could taste his hot breath coming from his grin all the way from Germany.
"Err, me and Vriska got you a gift, from Poland."
"What is it. Wink." why tf did he say wink out loud.
"It's a secret."
"Whattttt??"
"Secreeeeetttt." she grinned at Vriska, who held up the souvenir.
"Ugh, you know I don't like secrets, kitten."
"Anyways I GTG!!! BYE!!!" she hung up the phone, perhaps the best decision of her life.

"Where do I turn next?" Vriska narrowed her eyes, her eyes scanning the wooded area that surrounded the girls. "I think we were supposed to turn back there" Terezi turned to face her. "Ugh" Vriska commits probably the most dangerous and violent U turn ever conceived of, Terezi doesn't even blink at her friend's recklessness. "Okay where to next?" Terezi took a hot second to think of a response.
"Vriska."
"What." Vriska cocked her eyebrow.
"I have no fucking clue where we are." Terezi deadpans.
"WHAT??? Why didn't you tell me earlier?!" she hisses.
"Vriska, I'm blind."
"..."
"..."
"Oh."
"Hey, I smell something sharp."
"shit-"
Too late. Their tire was already done for. The car halted to a dead stop. Vriska hopped out the vehicle to investigate, it was exactly what she expected, a popped tire. Ugh, she was hoping she could have some fun tonight and like, get drunk and stuff, not this. Vriska goes back into the car to report her findings to her gal pal. "It's totes popped, the tire I mean." she huffed. "Hold on, i'll call the nearest car rental service" Terezi dialled up the phone, and nothing. No service. Well fuck. "What's that? Those lights." Terezi pointed, apparently only being able to see when it's convenient.

"Its headlights!!!"

A/N: MWAHAHAHAHA CLIFFHANGER 😈😈😈🤓🤓🤓 (i lobe mountain dew- glitteryAmmunition)