Tarlos Short Stories

Sometimes I'd rather be dead at least then I'm with you

And are those real angels in the magazines? Oh and is there a heaven? You know now you've been 

Tk didn't want to believe that they wouldn't find Carlos alive but he knew that they might not and nothing scared him more than the thought of losing Carlos. When they met he knew he was in love but he didn't want to admit it not to himself or anyone else at the time. He knew he should have been mad at Carlos for lying to him about Iris but he couldn't bring himself to be angry right now, he was more worried than anything.

Are those real stars that hang in the sky? Or are they man-made, a trick of the light?

Amen, amen, amen

When Gabriel kicked in the door and they found Carlos laying still, unresponsive on the floor TK felt like his heart had stopped when Carlos's did. Even though he could still feel his heart beating in his chest. He immediately started compressions but he still knew that there was a high chance Carlos wouldn't come back when he saw the empty bottle of morphine laying next to him and the equally empty syringe in the woman's hand. The second that paramedics got there he administered the narcan into Carlos's leg but his body didn't take it and they pronounced him Dead 2 minutes later. TK had never felt so numb in his life and he did the moment he saw them loading Carlos into the body bag and wheel him out of the house.

And is there a god up there? So where does he hide? 'cause the devil's raging inside my mind and is there a moment when it all makes sense? When saying goodbye doesn't feel like the end?

Amen, amen, amen, amen

It had been 6 months since that day but yet he still felt like he never truly left that house much like his fiance. Deep down he knew why he had the pills in his hands that he had right now but he didn't want to admit that for the first time in his life he was suicidal because he couldn't live without somebody instead of just not being able to live at all like it normally was. 

Sometimes I can't help blaming you for leaving me here, what am I supposed to do? There's plenty of women, there's drink there's drugs but we both know that won't be enough

He wished he wasn't doing this again but he also knew that this time was completely different than the last. Everytime he closed his eyes he saw Carlos smiling like he used to all those years ago when they first met. He hoped the pills would work like he wanted them to and he wouldn't wake back up. He emptied the bottle into his mouth and then and washed them down with a glass of water and he felt light and fuzzy like he used to before everything went black. When he opened his eyes again he was at the Reyes ranch asleep on Carlos's old bed. He couldn't find Carlos anywhere and it worried him until he went out to the backyard and found Carlos back there with the horses. "Good morning baby. I was hoping we'd reunite soon. How did you sleep?" "Morning honey. And I slept nicely." "I hope you know you can't stay here mi amor." Carlos was holding his hands, he guessed to help soften the impact of his words, with the softest smile on his gorgeous face. "It's not your time you need to go back." "But I wanna stay with you forever." "I know you do but your dad still needs you and so does the 126. I'll still be here waiting when you come back when it is your time, I promise, but now is not it." "I don't want to go back, my dad will live without me but I love you too much to lose you again." "Take my hand and you won't have to lose me a second time." TK hadn't even noticed that Carlos's hand was no longer in his but instead outstretched in front of him offering it to TK, who took it without a second thought.

'Cause I see you at daytime, I see you at night
There's a pale imitation burned in my eyes
I don't wanna be here, I don't know what to do
Sometimes I'd rather be dead at least then I'm with you

Amen, amen, amen, amen, amen, amen, amen, amen, amen