248 Days

October 13th

Damn the Ryder's lack of use of nightlights. Their close family friends had been murdered in their own home in the middle of the night. Had that not formed a rational fear of the dark?

Tiny bladder forcing me out of bed earlier than I would have liked, on my way to the bathroom I ran into the hallway table. Vase atop the wobbling table shattering against the floor, I cursed at the loud bang. Grayson's room was only a few doors away from mine. I groaned at the realization that I had almost certainly woken him.

Just as I had allowed myself to believe that he was an incredibly sound sleeper, Grayson's bedroom door swung open. My dishevelled state and the mess of shards suddenly illuminated; my head jerked towards his doorway with wide, panicked eyes. Acutely aware of the horrible state of my hair, curly nest sticking out wildly, left-over mascara smudged across my face and yesterday's outfit wrinkled, I swallowed a humiliated moan. Just what I needed this morning. As if I needed anything else to add to my foul mood.

Stood in nothing but a pair of checkered boxers, groggily Grayson's gaze fell my way. Staring blankly for many moments, finally he rubbed his eyes and smirked.

"How many times do we have to tell you that you cannot simply walk-through things?"

The enhanced clumsy, panicked state that had resulted from his lack of clothing, vanished instantaneously. Yep. Revulsion restored. I narrowed my eyes, fixing him my best glare, before returning my attention to the broken vase.

"You need to buy nightlights," I grunted. "I can clean my own mess!" I added harshly, waving him away when he stepped forward to help. "I don't want— I... I—Don't need you. Just put a damn shirt on!"

Stuttering and fumbling clumsily with the shards, I watched him through my peripheral gaze, unable to relax until he reluctantly returned to his room. Forgetting about my urge to pee, I discarded the remains of the vase and collapsed in bed with the upmost conviction that living with Grayson would be a nightmare come true.

I hadn't required much persuasion to stay home. I couldn't fathom facing the chorus of questions and unrelenting staring that would result my return to school. I had yet to come to terms with the unfortunate turn in my life. I didn't want to have to explain what I still struggled to grasp, and I didn't want to face the pity that would almost certainly arise.

Claire and Calvin had offered to call in sick to work, but I begged them not too. I could tell it hurt them to walk out. They were so kind, wanting to do everything they could to help. But there was nothing left to do. The best thing they could do for me, was leave me alone with my thoughts. I needed to be alone to get a control of my feelings. And I couldn't let myself feel what I needed to in the presence of strangers.

Much to my relief, Grayson had put up an equally small fight towards going to school. It seemed that facing his proper first day of school as a transfer was less nauseating than spending the day alone with me. The decision he made was wise.

Though I could only manage a muttered, curt thank you, I was incredibly grateful for the boxes of my old belongings. I just didn't want to show Grayson my gratitude. Once he was gone, I followed his instructions of rummaging through his closet to find the cardboard boxes labelled Alexa's stuff. Initially I had paced unsurely at the front of his door. I had been given permission to enter, and I was home alone, but still there was something unnerving about entering his room. I didn't want to learn more of my supposed childhood best friend. I preferred to pretend he didn't exist. It was a lot easier that way.

Finally working the nerve to swing the door open, my nose crinkled upwards upon noting its state. He hadn't even bothered to clean. Walls lined with untouched boxes, he had barely unpacked. What had been unpacked was thrown carelessly around the room. Kicking a shirt and a pair of shorts out of my path, I made way for the closet, eyes fixed on my desired destination. I didn't dare explore Grayson's mess in a deeper depth. I transferred the boxes from his room to mine, with tunnel vision. Exploring a teenage boy's room? Bad idea. I certainly didn't want to find anything to further inhibit me from holding Grayson's gaze.