This Love

Chapter 2

January 18,1973 (Year Two)

James was an only child. Peter had siblings, but he wasn't close to any of them. And Remus had no family. So none of them could really understand what was going on with Sirius and Regulus Black.

Regulus started his first year when the four other boys started their second. The two brothers seemed to be doing okay on the train ride. They were a little awkward around each other, but considering how the Black family operated, this didn't really come as a surprise to anyone. When Remus looks back on the two brothers' relationship later on in his life, he'll realize that the sorting ceremony is where the tension really started for the two brothers.

No one was surprised when Regulus Black was sorted into Slytherin. No one except Sirius. Which, Remus thought, was silly. Sirius knew his brother. He should have known the younger Black wouldn't go against the wishes of their parents. Remus will wonder, later in life, if that would have changed the course of the war. Probably. But they wouldn't ever know for sure.

After the sorting ceremony, Sirius and Regulus were very unpredictable. Sirius more so. Some days, he'd be okay. He'd be able to have a normal conversation, cast the odd hex at a Slytherin, and plan silly pranks with the other boys. But it was the other days that made every one who knew Sirius Black extremely nervous. On those days, Sirius became moody, going from smiling to throwing hexes in the blink of an eye. Remus hated days like those. As soon as he knew Sirius was in one of those moods, Remus made himself scarce until Sirius snapped out of it.

It was one of these days that Remus found himself in the library, hiding from the other boys. But mainly Sirius. Remus really didn't like Sirius on these days. Reminded him of the older boys at the orphanage. They'd always pick on the smaller kids. And most of all on Remus.

Remus sat in the back, hoping to avoid having to speak to anyone who may come into the library on a Friday afternoon. He really didn't want to deal with anyone else. The full moon was tomorrow, and he could already feel the affects of it. Not only physically, but emotionally as well. He wasn't even seated at a table. He was hidden between the rows of books, sitting on the floor with his back against the wall. He was having a hard time concentrating on the book in his lap, but this was preferable to anywhere else. At least it was quiet.

At some point Remus dozed off. When he finally woke up, it was slowly. He lifted his head up off the spot it had fallen. That's when he noticed the warmth pressed up against his side. Remus quickly looked up, only calming a little at the sight of Sirius. He was, after all, the one Remus wanted to avoid most of all.

"Hey..." Remus cautiously greeted Sirius.

"Hey." Sirius was looking down at his hands in his lap. The knuckles were a dark purple.

"What happened?" Remus's brow creased in concern. He really hoped Sirius hadn't gotten into another fight. He'd already gotten into several this year.

"Oh, um. Nothing. Just got angry. Punched a wall."

"Oh." That was better than a face, Remus supposed.

"What're you doing hiding in here?"

Remus didn't know what to say to Sirius. He didn't want to hurt the other boy's feelings by telling him the truth. But Remus wasn't sure what else to say. "Erm, well. I just – I wasn't feeling too well. Thought I'd get some quiet here."

Sirius looked at him funny. "You could have gone up to the dorm. We weren't in there and wouldn't have bothered you."

You would have Remus thought to himself. "I just didn't want to make you guys be quiet. It's okay, really. I enjoy the library."

Sirius looked back down at his hands. The two boys were quiet for a while. Finally, Sirius spoke again. "You were avoiding me."

Remus shot a glance at him, alarmed. He didn't know how Sirius would react regardless of what he said.

"Er-"

"Don't lie to me, please. I know you're avoiding me. You always do. Well, not always. But James and Pete have noticed it too. James said you disappear anytime I'm having a bad day and that I should try to talk to you about it."

"Oh, um. I just... I guess I just get nervous when people are upset."

"Why?" Sirius's grey eyes were boring into Remus.

"Um. Well, I just. The other boys at the orphanage really aren't the nicest and I just make sure to stay hidden if any of them are having a bad day. It's just... Just something I do, I s'pose."

Sirius gave him a curious look. "Is that why you have all those scars? Do they pick on you?"

"oh, well. No, not really. The scars are from something else. The other boys aren't that bad. Just push me around a bit."

"You know I'd never hurt you, right? You're one of my best mates."

Remus let out a small laugh at this. "Yeah, I know. Old habit, I guess." They lapsed into silence again. Remus didn't mind the quiet, but he knew Sirius was wanting to ask something. He was just working up the courage to ask.

After a few minutes, Sirius apparently found the courage. "I know how you get the scars. At least I think I do..."

Remus just raised a brow.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Erm, I know. I know why you're gone all the time. I noticed it a few months ago, but wanted to make sure..." Remus's heart was pounding now. He can't really know. He can't really – "You're a werewolf, aren't you?"

All Remus could do was stare at Sirius, trying to gage his reaction. But, as ever, Sirius Black was mastering his facial expressions. Remus looked down to his lap, unsure what he could say. He couldn't deny it now, it'd been too long. But what could he say? "Um. I- I should go..." Remus stood to gather his books.

"Remus, wait! Where are you going?" Sirius grabbed his wrist and Remus's eyes shot up to meet Sirius's.

"To McGonagall I s'pose. Or Dumbledore. I'll have to leave the school."

Sirius's stoic façade finally dropped. He looked truly alarmed. "What? No! You can't leave. Why would you have to leave?"

"Well... I thought you'd want me to. I know what people think of werewolves. I've read the books..."

"Remus, no! I never wanted you to leave! I just... I know how hard it is. I see how you are each month before and after the full moon. And you shouldn't have to go through that alone. You... You shouldn't be alone..." Sirius trailed off, looking down to where he still held Remus's wrist.

"What about James and Peter?"

"Well, they know. I started wondering before they did, but when I asked them about it, we all figured it out together. And they feel the same as I. We didn't tell you we knew because we didn't want to scare you."

"Oh. What made you tell me today?"

"James said I should apologize. Acting like a prat right before the moon, when we all know you get more stressed and upset. And I really am sorry. For making you feel uncomfortable around me. It's really not something I wanted to do. But, I really shouldn't have been like that so close to the moon."

Oh. Remus definitely didn't expect that. But, then Sirius was unpredictable at the best of times. "It's okay, Sirius. Really. I truly just wasn't feeling well..."

"I know that's not true, but c'mon. You should get some actual rest in your actual bed."

Remus wasn't too sure about this turn of events. But at least he didn't have to keep hiding from his friends anymore.