Nine Lives

Chapter Three

The next thing I felt was someone shaking me, as if trying to wake me from a deep slumber as well as hearing a faint voice calling me.

“Lexa……. Lexa…..”

Groaning as I opened my eyes slowly to come face to face with Hayden but his face was plastered with worry “You were screaming in your sleep again…. They’re back aren’t they?”

I scoffed, trying to keep my face straight to prevent any fear flooding onto it as I sat upright to make looking at him easier “What’s back?” I asked, blandly

Hayden raised his eyebrow at me “Really? You can’t fool me Lexa….” He pulled me close; embracing me “I know you’re scared…”

“You have no idea….” I whispered, holding back tears “I’ve never been so afraid…I-I feel like I’m almost suffocating”

He hushed me, holding me tighter “I know baby…”

A few years ago, my mother insisted I went to see a psychiatrist again because my dreams were slowly destroying my life; at that point it was getting harder to tell what was real and what was in my dreams. She was convinced I was insane, but what kid wouldn’t have problems when her mother would be bringing a different strange man into the house every night.

But the dreams only started after that one day back in ’96. I was four.

From afar we looked like a happy family, mother and daughter, happily enjoying a stroll to the park but that was before you approached us and saw the abuse and hurt in my eyes. I remember I was wearing my favorite bright pink T-shirt and white shorts, which my mother had matched with bright white trainers.

“Lexi, darling… Now remember what I told you… Be a good girl for the doctor or mommy will be angry…” My mother had told me on my first trip to the psychiatrist’s office.

“No, Mommy! I don’t wanna go!” I screamed and kicked my mother hard, making her curse under her breath before she pulled me close to come down to my level

“Lexanne you’re not well, I’ll say it again and you will listen to me… Do you understand?”

“No!” I begun to cry from her grip on my wrist tightening, struggling to get away “Mommy, you’re hurting me…”

“Lexanne… You’re making mommy very ANGRY!!” she hissed through gritted teeth “If you don’t pack it in mommy will smack you!”

“Yvonne? Hi, how are you?” My mom’s friend from work had rushed up from the other side of the road to greet us “Hi Lexi, How are you princess?” she knelt down to stroke my cheek

“I’m not too bad, Rachel…” my mom’s voice and tone had completely changed and she seemed all too interested in talking to her friend now as I struggled to free myself from the vice tight grip of my abuser.

Almost there…. Just alittle more…. That’s it! I’m free… She hasn’t noticed I’ve got away yet; I needed to get as far away as possible before she notices.

I felt free for the first time as I stepped carefully of the curb and into the road, toddling across the tarmac. I remember the sound of the brakes of a car screeching and flying through the air until I landed on the ground a few feet away. I remember seeing a cloaked figure standing over me as my world around me faded away

Sometimes I wonder if it was my upbringing that has made me the way I am today. I blame my mother for the pain I felt as a child and through out my teenage years, she was supposed to act like a parent yet I had friends in high school that were more mature than she was.

Truth be told, she was no fit mother, she never was. I know they say that all women are born with the mothering instinct; mine was born the spawn of Satan himself.

Hayden noticed the vacant expression on my face “What’s up babe?”

I rubbed my temples, frowning “My head hurts…”

“I’m not surprised; you must’ve hit it when you fainted….” Hayden replied softly, placing a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll go make you some soup..”

I reached out and grabbed his arm, stopping him from leaving “I fainted?”

He sighed and sat back down beside me “Yeah, it was weird.. One minute you were fine the next you were on the floor. So I picked you up and tucked you back into bed.. You must’ve been out for four hours, that’s four hours I had to sit and worry about you..”

“Aw, babe… You shouldn’t have… You know I would’ve been fine…”

His eyes shot up to meet mine “and what if you weren’t? I don’t know what I would’ve done if I lost you.. I love you so much Lex”

I smiled “I know, but nothing did happen and it’s not going to happen for a long time babe, because I have a long and healthy life ahead of me and we will celebrate it together, just you and me…”

“Well, baby… I’m never letting you go, I’d climb the tallest mountains, swim the deepest seas and I’ll go where no man has been, just for you” he smiled, a tear trickled down his cheek.

“I’m just glad you aren’t one of those boys who are obsessed with their game consoles and gaming all night long until the early hours…”

Hayden grinned impishly and replied “thanks, you know I dedicate my time for you even if it kills me”. He reached forward to kiss my hand softly and frowned, pulling my arm closer to examine it before he murmured, “… Lexa…. You know how I feel about you doing this to yourself…”

I was stumped for all but a few minutes until he lifted my arm and showed me the distinct thin white lines trailing up my arm “You’ve been cutting yourself again….” Hayden mused coldly