Lost in lust

Need

 Aurora

I dream of that night way too much. I have to stop before Papa sends me back to my therapist. Ever since Mama died he's treated me as if I was more of a charity case or a problem to be fixed rather than his daughter. 

You would think a death in the family would bring us closer together but Mama's death did the opposite. Papa started staying at work more often and Rowan became more of a parental figure than my actual father. 

What Papa did to Rowan wasn't fair. He didn't even give Rowan a chance to grieve before Rowan had to step up and be more of a father figure than my actual father. Eventually taking care of me and grieving Mama all while going to school became too much for him. He dropped out of school and tended to me full time.

I love my Papa but not as much as I used to. Whenever Papa comes around, he and Rowan always get into an argument because Papa always fails to realize where he went wrong as a father. He's always saying I lost my wife or anyone in my position would lose a piece of themselves too. But we lost our mom too and when we needed him to step up and be a father but he wasn't there.

He wasn't the only one who lost someone important that day but he never thinks about us. He hasn't thought of us since that night and it infuriates me.

If I don't get over these flashback dreams eventually Rowan will notice and tell Papa and then I'd be back in therapy forced to take those stupid pills again.

I looked over to my alarm 3:59 am it read. I haven't had a good nights rest since my flashbacks started up again which was about  2 months ago. I really need sleep I'm becoming less and less myself everyday.

I decided to try to get some sleep. I kind of have a big day tomorrow.

As soon as I got comfortable and closed my eyes. 

Ring Ring

You cant be serious.

I turned to my blaring my phone answering the call in a huff.  "What" 

As I waited for the person to respond I looked around my room thinking of what I could wear tomorrow.

" Rory?" My eyes widened and I looked at the caller ID faster than I could even comprehend. I totally forgot I was supposed to call him when I went to sleep.

" Yes Lucas?" I said, clearly avoiding the reason he was calling. " I told you to call me before you went to bed didn't I?"

" Yeah you did I'm sorry I just got distracted and fell asleep."

" Don't do it again, you know how I get when I don't hear from you, okay sweetie?" I winced at the pet name. I've never hated anything more than the sound of him calling me sweetie or any pet name in general.

I was once in love with Lucas but that changed once I started seeing past the facade he put on for everyone else. I started calling him out on his acts and that's when he started to get violent.

I sighed loudly" Yes I know how you get. Can I just get some sleep please? I'm really tired." He went silent for a few seconds before he replied.

" Don't start with the attitude. I'll let you go to sleep but call me as soon as you wake up i'm not playing around sweetie."

" Lucas I'll call,okay? Goodnight." I hung up before he got another word in.

I turned around and drifted into a much needed slumber.

Okay y'all... Im frl this time