Deviance

Chapter 2

"I hate to do this, but I should get going..." His voice pulls me back to reality. I don't know to which dimension he sent me to... I stopped counting after my third orgasm. Kate told me that it was hard to orgasm, especially your first time. This guy must really know what he's doing.
He pulls away from me and starts dressing himself again. I cross my arms over my bare chest and glare at him. I feel so vulnerable and exposed.
"I can feel your eyes practically burning my skin. Why are you mad?"

He doesn't even look at me as he addresses me. God, I am an idiot. I can't believe I actually thought for even a second that this was anything more than him getting another notch under his belt. I guess this is what I deserve for thinking I was special.
"You took my virginity and now you are just going to leave... Quite the gentleman. I don't even know your name."
His eyes finally meet mine. He lets out a sigh before he speaks.
"Look, it was fun. But both of us are adults and I thought you knew that this was only going to be a onetime thing. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I never claimed to be a gentleman, baby. I fuck and that's it."
I feel the back of my eyes sting. A tear rolls down my cheek. I wish I could hide from him how upset I am, but that's just not possible.
"Oh fuck, please don't cry. I seriously don't have time for this."
His words hurt me even more. I can't help it; a soft sob escapes my lips. I feel so pathetic.
"Fine, what is it going to take to shut you up? Do you want me to eat you out? Is it money you are after? Just name it and it's yours. I don't have time for this."
My blood boils in my veins. He's treating this like a transaction. I am not a hooker! I don't want his money. I don't want anything from him, and I'd rather die before I let him touch me again.
"I want you to leave me the fuck alone and never talk to me again!"
I reach beside me and grab the soap bottle. I chuck it in the general direction of his head through my tears of anger. Unfortunately, I miss, and it crashes against the wall next to him. The plastic container bursts open, the white, vanilla scented liquid inside splatters everywhere. Knowing that he is splattered by the soap makes me feel a little bit better, but it definitely isn't enough to extinguish the pure rage he has ignited within my veins.
"Calm down you psychopath! It was just a one-night stand. There's no need to get violent."
He grabs some of the toilet paper and wipes at the gooey liquid on his shirt.
"I'm not a psychopath. And I told you to get lost, asshole!"
Couldn't he leave already? The longer that I was trapped in the same space as him, the more stupid I felt, which in turn made my blood pressure raise even higher.
"Are you on drugs or just this crazy? Either way, I'm going to go before I catch whatever it is you have." He wipes as much of the soap as he can from his shirt and then throws my shirt at me so that I can cover up. He unlocks the bathroom door.
"It would be more likely that I just got an STD from you, than it would ever be that I infected you with anything!" I yell as he slips out of the bathroom and closes the door behind him.
I rush to the door and lock it behind him. I feel so overwhelmed. Tears fall from my eyes as I try to think clearly. I just had sex for the first time – without any protection... This isn't good.
I try to run through everything the teacher had taught us in sex-ed in high school. Pee! I remember my teacher saying something about peeing after sex helps you avoid urinary track infections. I sit

down on the toilet and will myself to piss. God, this is awful. I couldn't be more humiliated even if I wanted to.
I wipe myself and then put on my clothes. I stare at myself in the mirror above the sink. My eyes are bloodshot, and my hair is a mess. I comb my fingers through my hair and tie it up into a ponytail with the hair tie that was around my wrist. I wash my face with some cold water to try and calm myself down. I feel a little bit more put together, but on the inside I am still falling apart.
I need to find Kate. She would know what to do. I already figure that I am going to need a morning after pill and I'm going to book an appointment to get blood tests done as soon as possible. But other than that, I feel completely lost. This was not how I saw my first time going down.
I always imagined that I would lose my virginity on my wedding night, to the man whom I loved. But now I just gave it away to a guy whose name I don't even know. I just gave away the special gift my husband was supposed to receive from me and I fucking hate myself for it.
I leave the bathroom and head downstairs. We were in that bathroom for quite some time, so I'm hoping that Kate will be ready to go home by now. I hate that he wasn't lying about his sexual prowess.
I can't stand being at this party any longer. I want to go home. So, screw it! Even if Kate isn't finished, I am taking the car keys and getting the hell out of here.
I search the dancefloor and couches, but Kate's nowhere to be found. I walk towards the entrance of the building and my friend's long, black curls are the first thing that I see as I enter the makeshift bar. I am flooded with relieve. I practically sprint over to her.
"Kate, we need to go home!"
I get a few glances thrown my way by the other people around Kate. I try to ignore their judgemental stares. Who the hell do they think they are that they can judge me? I'm certain that all of them have been in even worse situations than I am now. They can go screw themselves!
"Auburn? What's wrong?"
Kate must see the panic in my eyes. I am usually the calm, level-headed one between us. So, she immediately knows that something is very wrong.
"Can we please go to the car?" I feel the tears threatening to escape again and I don't need to give these idiots even more to talk about than I already have. I hate being gossiped about.
"Of course, Auburn."
She sets the drink in her hand down on the table and takes my hand. She leads me outside of the building without looking back once. She doesn't stop walking until we reach the car, which I am eternally grateful for.
"Tell me what happened right now." She demands with her hands on her hips. "I... I lost my virginity..." I blurt out as she unlocks the car doors.
"What?" Her head whips around to look at me at such a high speed that I'm sure she'll feel the effects of whiplash tomorrow.

"I met this guy... and I don't know what I was thinking. But I went upstairs with him... It all just happened so fast. He left immediately afterwards... he made me feel like a cheap whore. It all just feels so wrong..." A literal shiver racks through my body.
My friend wraps her arms around me as I break down in tears once again. I am so thankful that she's here. I don't think I could've handled this on my own.
"Auburn, did he hurt you or make you do it against your will?" She asks as she pulls away from our hug just enough to see my face.
It is a valid question. Kate knows that I am not the type of girl to hook up with random guys. I would have suspected foul play if I were in her shoes.
"No, I wanted to... I don't know why, but I wanted him so badly, Kate. I am so pathetic. I don't even know his fucking name."
I burry my face in the crook of her neck. I feel so dirty and embarrassed. I have become everything I detested. I am just one of those girls who screwes around with someone for fun now.
"You aren't pathetic. You made a bad judgement call. It was one mistake – this doesn't define you. You are still the Auburn that I know and love."
Kate gives me another hug before helping me into the passenger seat. We make a pitstop at the 24- hour pharmacy before we go back to Kate's place. She goes in and buys everything that I need. I am not brave enough to face the poor cashier who got stuck with the night shift.
When she gets back into the car, she hands me the small paper bag. I open it up and take out the pill.
"Can I ask you one more favour?" I ask after I dry swallow the Plan B pill. "Sure, anything." Kate gives me a reassuring smile.
"Can we please never talk about this night again? I just want to forget everything that happened. I want to forget him. You were right, this was just one big mistake that I want to erase forever."
"Of course." I see a hint of pity in her eyes, and I hate myself even more for my actions tonight.
We drive home without another word between us. I feel too shameful to speak and Kate probably feels too bad for me to say anything else.
As soon as we get to her apartment, I hop in the shower to wash any traces of the night's events off of me. I can still smell his scent on my body even after I've scrubbed and scrubbed my skin to the point where it's raw. I can still feel his hands on me and him inside me, no matter how scalding the water is on my skin.
I change into my oversized sleeping shirt and sprits half the bottle of my perfume on myself. I need to dose myself with my jasmine and honey fragrance to stop smelling like him - sage with a hint of pepper. I then try to fall asleep. But sleep doesn't seem to want to come.
I am too plagued by images of a tall, mysterious man covered in tattoos. Too occupied with the man who took my purity and threw me away like the piece of trash that I am.
I already know that I will never truly be able to forget what happened tonight. He took a part of my soul and I'll be haunted by him for as long as I am alive.

A/N

Hello, my little deviants. Did you enjoy this chapter? I have even more instore, so make sure you don't miss my updates every Saturday. Remember to vote and comment. Until the next chapter.

Love

I. Nobody