I Want Him

Chapter Twelve: Independence

Mila's P.O.V

I slept with him. On my couch. I slept with the man I never wanted to see again. He snores lightly and his chest raises slowly. I listen to his heart beat, like I've done a few years ago on many nights. Nothing has changed, his heart sounds the same and his natural scent is still there. Who am I kidding. This could never work. Never, it would ruin the hard work I put in to make myself a stronger woman. I still love him. But he cheated on my with my sister. There is no way to avoid th u s mess.

"Baby, what's wrong?", Dorian asks. We've been in all day. "You being here is a problem for me. I don't think you realize what kind of predicament you're putting me in.", I speak honestly. "I came here to work things out with you.", he say. I take a deep breath.
"Out of the few years we've been apart don't you think I would've found someone else. You were out of the equation. So excuse me if I don't rejoice in your presence, and fall at your feet."
Dorian cuffs my face in his hands. "I understand. Just tell me what you want me to do. The time I downcast from you has been hell for me. I just want to prove to you that I can still be the man you were going to marry.", his words pulled at my heart strings.
"That's just it. How do yo know that you're still the man I want to marry? I won't badger you for what you did, because you already know it hurt me. But who's to say I haven't already found someone else. A man that can be just as clever as me, and manage to do what you never could. Keep me on my toes.", I say. The love for Dorian is still there but it's not what it used to be. I still want to see where things will lead with Christian. If I run with yt? h leftover feelings for Dorian there is no telling what I could be missing out on. Christian actually excites me. I actually like this charade that we have going, Dorian could never understand that. He's always got what he's wanted. Maybe it's time to just test the waters and go for it.
"What are you saying? You've found someone else?" he asks. I laugh.
"I'm saying I want you to get out of my house. This is my life and I have every right to be indecisive. I don't want to make a choice based on old feelings.", I say.
"So you're saying you don't want to choose me?", he asks. I swear if he asks another damn question.
"I'm saying if you want me, prove that you're worth my time. Show me that all the things you say are true. Don't just lean on the fact that we were at the alter. So no, I don't choose you. As much as I love you, I love myself more. Now please leave.", I speak with certainty. He rose from the chair and made his way to the hall to put his shoes on.
"I'm not giving up without one hell of a fight.", Dorian says.
"Well then I guess it's time to do what my family always wanted you to do.", I say.
"Yeah, and what would that be?", he ask. I smile to myself. "Earn me.", I answer.

I look in my closet in search of a nice outfit. I'm going out tonight, I don't know where, but I'm going. It's a time of celebration. What am I celebrating? Independence. I've been looking for the attention of a man, maybe it's time a man looks for my attention. On his own of course. Actually you know what. The spa is still open and I think I could use some more relaxation time. Time for myself. I pull out a nice summer dress that I've never worn. I purchased this dress in Japan last summer, around this time actually. It was handmade from silk, it feels so good against my skin. Yeah, I'm definitely wearing this. I think I'll drive my Audi there. Sounds like a plan.

I pull into the parking lot of "Body Work". It sounds more like a strip club than a spa but whatever. This p lace had been in business for about seven years and has a very impressive clientele, including yours truly. I walk into the place and smell aroma therapy candles right away. Plush couches and lounge chairs decorate the main entrance. "Right this way Ms. Amora.", the manager speaks kindly. "Thanks Mandy.", I say as she leads me down the hall to the changing room. I go in quickly, not wanting to draw attention. These shades I'm wearing will only get me so far.

After changing into a robe, I was directed to one of the massage rooms. "What brings you back so soon Ms. Amora.", Jackson, my usual massage therapist speaks quietly.
"I just thought I'd treat myself to something nice.", I say. Jackson is very charming. He has mocha colored skin, slim, big brown eyes, his hair is always edged up nicely, and he has a beautiful smile. Because of his delicate facial features, most people have made the mistake of thinking he's gay. I think his fiancee, Robin would be a little disappointed about that. Their actually expecting a child together.
"How is Robin?", I ask. Last time I saw here She was having a pregnancy rampage. "She's fine. Craving nothing but Vanilla ice cream and Oreos.", he says. "Why not just give her Cookies n Cream ice cream? ", I ask. "I tried that once. Biggest mistake of my life. That woman has the throw of an all-star pitcher.", he explains. I laugh and let hum continue working on my back. I wonder what perks come with having a live in masseuse. Must be rather nice. Since Robin is so close to the end of her pregnancy I know she must use him quite often. I know I would. I gotta make a trip to see her sometime before the baby is born. I should probably bring a gift though. Maybe some ice cream.

I soak in the steam bath. My forehead is dampened in sweat. I have my hair wrapped up in a towel. This bath is about to sweat out pounds instead of tension. I have to get up out of here. I lift my body up and grab one of the nearby towels. After drying off quickly I grab my robe and put it on. I should get a quick manicure. I walk down into the salon department. I sit in one of the empty chairs. Someone taps me on my shoulder. I turn to see the face of a fallen angel. My mouth let's out a gasp. "Mom?!", I managed to speak. "Look at my beautiful daughter. I went through great lengths to find you.", she says. Her voice sends cold chills down my spine. I can't find words to say anything thing else. What would you say if the last time you say your mother she was being incarcerated for murder?

*Sorry for such a long wait. All is not forgotten and Mila is back on track. Two people have come back from her past, both rather unwanted guests. Only four more chapters till the end. There will be a sequel*