Valerie

22 - Val

"I can hear your brain thinking." Thomas murmured from behind me. I was tucked against his back, his arms wrapped around me so securely it was as if he was afraid to let go.

He was right. I had been able to sleep all of two hours before I woke up again to think about the conversation we had right before we fell asleep. I hadn't told anyone that much about my mother's death. Not even Mable. She picked up the general gist of what happened but I had never sat down and had that talk with her. Not like the one I just had with Thomas.

It felt strange, definitely. But also... right.

"Just how my father shooting himself when I was thirteen wasn't my fault. It was his." I thought about what Thomas had told me, too. The fact that he opened up to me like that had to mean something.

"I just can't get to sleep. My mind's too busy." I said to him. A few days ago, I would've said that it was busy with thoughts of my father and brother coming to New York. Busy with thoughts of the lack of food I was intaking. Thoughts of my mother's death. Now, however, it was with thoughts of what had passed between us the night before.

"That's okay." He sat up and pulled me with him. 

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked, turning my head to him. His eyes snagged on the bit of hair that fell next to my face.

"Of course." He grinned.

"Are we friends?" I said, biting my lip.

"Friends?" He laughed. I furrowed my brow in confusion. What was so funny? "Valerie, we can be whatever you want to be."

"So we are friends then?"

He gave me a smile like he knew something I didn't. 

"Can you stop being so cryptic and answer the question." I snapped.

"There's the Valerie I know. I was starting to get worried. Yes, Valerie. We are friends." 

A look of guilt passed over my face. "About that."

"About what?" He asked, puzzled.

"You can call me Val. Everyone else does." I said.

"I don't want to be like everyone else, not to you." He said calmly.

"The only reason I said you couldn't was because I was petty and I didn't like you-"

"Yeah, I might've noticed that." He said, laughing. 

"Okay well, you can call me Val. I don't hate you anymore."

His eyes widened with something that looked like happiness and... hope? "I prefer Valerie." He said.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. You can call me Valerie."

He shrugged cockily, "Have to stand out."

"Of course you do." I rolled my eyes. "You know no one else calls me that, right?"

He grinned, "Even better. You can call me Tom by the way."

My head snapped in his direction and I narrowed my eyes. "I thought you hated nicknames." I said.

"Where did you hear that?" He asked, looking surprised and slightly nervous. "Not from my brother, right?"

"I just figured that that would be something you hate. You know because of the whole I hate everything and everyone thing."

"Okay first of all, I don't sound like that-"

"You totally do."

"Second of all, that was a terrible American accent-"

"It wasn't and you know it wasn't." I said, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

"Okay fine," I smiled. "but third of all, I don't hate everything and everyone."

"Lying is a sin, Tom." He grinned as I said his name.

"Correction, I hate most things and most people."

"Who do you not hate then?" I asked, genuinely curious.

He hesitated, thinking his answer through carefully. "I don't hate you, Marcus or books."

I was surprised that I was the first thing he mentioned but brushed it off. "What about hockey?"

"I don't not like it but I don't love it. Not like other things."

"So you don't love any of your family?" I asked, shocked.

He paused. "I think I love my brother. In a weird, confusing way. I don't like to think about it too much if I'm being honest."

"That's fair." I said. "I don't like thinking about my family too much either."

"Why not?" He asked softly.

I just shrugged, trying to play it casual. "There's a reason I moved out of the country for Uni."

He nodded, as if he understood. How little he knew. 

---

Hey guys I'm so so sorry for the long wait! Life has been pretty hectic recently, I had my mocks, got a boyfriend and have had to make some big decisions but now its xmas break so updates will come along much more often.

Sorry for the shorter chapter, I just wanted to get something out xx

Next Chapter will come out either today or tomorrow.

Follow my tiktok: cfirthswife   for updates on Val xx

Merry Christmas!

Word Count: 775