Messed Up

Chapter 2 Julian

POV: Julian

I was glad that Dad had a new job when we moved here and worked mornings, at least he was no longer here to be disappointed and ashamed of me when he found out that I wet once again. Other than that, I really didn't like this place any better than the last place we had been at. Then again, we have only been here for a few days. Most of the time here has been spent moving in and setting everything up in our new place. That is another thing I have always hated, the constant moving. Don't get me wrong, there was a lot of things I hated about my life and some of them were just really too bad to even think about. I guess you could say, that moving was somewhere down low on that list but it still wasn't a thrill to do! My dad considers himself a man's man, and thinks I am old enough to start being more interested in things like football and other sports and doing other men things. He has told me that I am too old to play with toys and watch cartoons and should get more involved in sports and cars, maybe even other stuff that older preteen boys do within reason. The thing is, I don't like to do the things he likes, and I don't like how he tries to push those things on to me! I really like my toys and I do like watching cartoons. I do other stuff as well, like playing video games and riding my bike. I also enjoy watching YouTube videos by other kid youtubers and surfing the internet. Mom lets me use her Verizon Samsung Galaxy Tablet whenever Dad isn't around to get online with. It isn't no longer serviced with Verizon, but she will walk me down to McDonalds and let me connect to their Wi-Fi service there for a few hours, while she does the same on her cellphone.

It turned out that even though we were here, we had missed the Student Orientation Night. Mom didn't even find out about it until the day after when she went down to the middle school office to register me as a student. She picked up everything I would need, like my books, class schedule, gym uniform, and Locker info and combination. To be really honest, I wasn't looking forward to starting a new school. I never really, let's say, had the best luck when it comes to making friends in school. In fact, I tended to make more enemies instead. As my mom would say, if it wasn't for bad luck, we wouldn't have luck at all.

Due to my medical issues and the fact that we are not exactly wealthy, Mom has been able to get me covered under state Medicaid, which pays for doctor visits, for all my falls that I have and my other medical needs. According to my doctor, I have ADD, which I find hard to believe considering that I thought it was a disease that made a kid all excited and full of energy, and I felt the exact opposite. I was also diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety. Who knows, maybe the last two, balance out the ADD, that is if the doctor isn't a quack. At least that is what my mom states. She refuses to give me the medicine the doctor prescribed me with. The one thing she was more than happy to take though, was the prescription for diapers. Once she found out that Medicaid would cover for a child who had a doctor's prescription for diapers, she went instantly seeking for that.

Diapers were expensive, and even though I still easily fit the Size 6 diapers, they were really too small for me when it came to how much I peed. They just weren't good enough for a full night for me and to get youth diapers were just too expensive. Diapers were rarely discussed in our home as it was a very sore topic around my dad and it could quickly turn into something very much undesired if brought up.

Every month, my diapers and diaper supplies would be delivered to our home in a couple large boxes. Mom always made sure the doctor prescribed me not only diapers for nighttime use but also daytime as well. I hate to admit it, not only have I wet the bed heavily every night that I can remember, I tend to have daytime accidents as well, but those at least have been getting a lot better. Because of this, I no longer have to wear a diaper during the day, but get to wear a type of youth, pull up type diaper. Still, I always hated wearing those at my last school because someone found out when on the playground, they saw the top of it sticking out and they came up to me with a few of their friends who grabbed me while he pulled down my pants just to see if it was true. Sad thing was, that it was the last recess of the day and I had already peed in it and they could all tell. I was made terribly fun of the rest of the school year, being called all kinds of names that referred to my pull-on diaper or just being a baby period. Being ten at the time, it was hard for me but what was worse was when I was cornered after school on several occasions, by the bullies who would gang up on me and sometimes beat me up. If they were in a really extra bullying mood, they would strip my pants off of me and force me to walk home, with my diaper exposed to everyone. Usually, my pants would mysteriously show up, later that day outside our door.