Putting Grandma On E-bay

Bye Bye Grandma

I'm so tired of that old hag! Always nagging! Nag nag nagging! 

As soon as the listing went up, I chuckled to myself, thinking it was simply a joke. Little did I know countless people were genuinely offering to buy my grandmother. They started pouring in like crazy! I sat there... bewildered.

"Grandma! I have a surprise for you!"

I yelled for her across the house.

"Yes? What is it dear?"

"Oh, you'll know soon enough ya old hag!"

"Now watch your tongue boy! I'm getting sick and tired of you!"

I spin my chair around. Getting up from my seat, I look her dead in the eyes.

"Make me"

With the biggest grin on my face, I slam the door on her face, making sure to lock it. Her muffled screams and banging on the door only make me giggle more. I swiftly ran back to my seat, checking out all the offers. Of the many sent, one caught my eye.

"Holy Moly! Fifty-thousand dollars!! I'm going to be rich!"

I shake my feet under my desk like a little kid. Immediately accepting the offer, I head to bed, shaking in excitement.

Later the next morning, around 10:30, I hear a loud knock on the door. I pounce off my bed, putting on my robe, slamming my door open, and rushing downstairs. I open the door. An older, semi muscular man, around his 60's, with a big beer belly stood at the door.

"Hello, young sir! I'm here to buy a grandma! Would you be the one selling?"

"Why yes I am! Please, come in!"

I guide him upstairs, across the hall, leading to my grandma's room.

"There she is"

I point at my sleeping grandma.

"Be careful with her, she's brittle and dusty!"

"Thank you, boy."

The older man hands me a pile of cash in a briefcase. My eyes are astonished. Locked on the pile of cash as the man carries away my screaming grandma on his shoulders.

"Pleasure doing business, sir! Please come again if you'd like a used mom, too!"

I say to him as he shoves my grandma into the trunk of his car. He looks back at me, dipping his hat at me before driving away.

"Yahooo!!!! I can buy so many games! And I finally don't have to listen to her anymore!"

THE END! I SOLD MY GRANDMA!