Mind of Steel | Part two | L.N.

CXVI

"Are you sure you're alright?" Kelly asked as she rubbed Max's shoulders. He nodded to her. He couldn't smile though. Penelope was sleeping on his shoulder. They had all been waiting at the hospital for news.

"I'm just gonna put her down, shower, and then go over to Landos," Max reasoned as he walked into Penelope's room and laid her gently down on the bed. He moved into the bathroom and closed the door. He covered his mouth as she slid down the door the tears finally spilling down his cheeks. He didn't want to cry in front of Kelly or P at the hospital. He was trying to stay strong for them. P didn't realize that she wouldn't get to see Auntie Leah again. Kelly was going to break the news to her tomorrow. Max ran his hands through his hair as he kept his sobs silent. Leah was gone. She was gone and it was his fault. He should have fought harder to get her fired or something, at least she would still be alive. His phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out thinking it would be Lando but instead, it was a group message.

"This is Leah Guessey-Norris's attorney, You have all been sent a goodbye message, please look at your emails to see it. She did this for you all, to have a goodbye in case anything happened. I'm so sorry for your losses." The text read. Max dropped his phone and buried his face in his hands. Leah was dead. She was gone and she wasn't coming back. He wouldn't be able to tease her about her weird habits or make fun of her when he beat her at the races. He wouldn't be able to go over and steal some food she made when Kelly was out of town. He wouldn't be able to make her laugh or see her flip him off. Max's chest hurt as he gripped his shirt. After everything she's been through this is how her life ends. Max just kept thinking that she was only 23, her birthday was in a few weeks. She was so young. Max had gotten himself up off the floor and showered. After he quickly made sure he didn't look like he'd been sobbing before he left the bathroom. He walked into his office and got onto his computer seeing the email for the goodbye video. He clicked on the link and a video popped up  Leah was visible. He bit the inside of his lip and clicked play.

"Alright, this is one of the many videos I made for people, but I just wanted to speak with you one last time. If anything happens, I'm not saying it will, but this is my insurance policy just in case I don't get a goodbye, I need one. I deserve one after everyone I've lost. And you have been blessed with this depressing email, so I'm sorry Maxie," Leah adjusted her shirt as she scooted to the edge of the couch. "I just wanted to let you know that, after my brothers died you were there for me. You became a brother to me, you became family. You were always there for me and I love you for that," Leah's voice broke and Max paused the video as he calmed himself keeping the tears at bay. "I am so glad, that I switched to Red Bull or else this relationship would have never happened. I would never have gotten this close to you and we would never have had this incredible bond. I have never been so proud to call someone my friend, let alone my brother. You and Lando were my boys. You were my everything and I'm so glad I got to spend time with you even if it was only a short few years. You helped me get through the bad. You were there for me and I love you so so so so much for that. I know I don't say it often, but I'm making sure I tell everyone how much they mean to me this time. I want you to know how much you meant to me. You weren't just my teammate you were my family." Leah wiped her eyes as she laughed again. Max did the same as he smiled at the computer. "If you did not get the chance to say goodbye to me, I'm sorry, but I will always be with you. Please don't forget me, Maxie." Leah smiled as she ended the video Max sat there the silence filling his room as she stared at the computer screen. There was a soft knock on the door and Kelly came in. She saw the laptop open and came over wrapping her arms around his neck.

"She's with her family now," Kelly whispered and that was all it took. Max's shoulder shook as he silently cried. Kelly just held onto him tighter as he sobbed. Max knew Kelly was right, she was with her family again, but what about him? What about the others they were her family too and she left them.

"She's gone," Max choked out as he wiped his face. Kelly moved around so she could cup Max's face. She had tears as well, but she was holding it together for now so she could speak.

"I know," She whispered. Max gripped her clothes as he felt like his world was slipping out from under his feet.

"I don't have her as a teammate, I won't see her again," Max took several short breaths until Kelly put her hand to his chest and took a deep breath.

"Breath, breath, slow," She muttered as she wiped away her own tears.

"I didn't," Max hit his chest as he leaned forward. "I didn't get to say it back. I didn't ever say I love you back." She'd never seen Max break down like this before and it was horrible. She wasn't sure how to make him feel better. The only person who was amazing at comforting people was Leah, but she was dead. "She didn't know."

"She knew," Kelly whispered as she kissed his forehead. "She knew, Max, she knew you loved her." Kelly blinked several times as she looked around the room. They all have loved Leah. she was there for everyone. She was a part of everyone's family. She was their family.

--------

The next day the world seemed quiet. It wasn't too shocking since many people knew of her name even if they did not watch Formula One or motorsports at all. Many people knew of her talent and controversy. Her fans were constantly posting about her and giving their best wishes to Lando and everyone. It seemed that everyone was posting the videos they had of Leah, edits for Leah everything. Her newer commercials were released that morning, so people could see and hear her voice. See her smile. Her video to her fans and the industry was also released to the public.

Leah had planned almost everything out like she was planning on dying. she had backup plans in case that fell through. She was thorough about everything. She wanted to make sure she finally got to have her goodbyes. Leah had made several videos. Lando's and Max's. Cassidy's and Elizabeth's. Isabella, Alejandros, and Carlos's. Charles, Daniel's, Lewis's, George's, Oscars, Alex and Lily's. Pierre and Kikas. She also made one for the mechanics at Red Bull and Christian Horner. Several weeks back she met up with her attorney and made a backup plan just like Red Bull did if something happened to Leah. She sat down for hours contemplating what she wanted to say in each video. Each one was personalized, but they all had one thing in it she loved them and she asked each one to take care of Lando.

Leah wanted to make sure that everyone had it easy. She had already planned out what to do with her body. Where she was going to be buried. She didn't want a public service, but if people wanted to have one it would be a closed casket. Leah had planned out options for everyone so they didn't have to fight to get through everything. She wanted the transition to be smooth. She's done it enough herself, she didn't want to have anyone break down over simple things like the funeral.

At the start of her Formula One launch, she didn't ever consider that the sport she'd grown to love would kill her this fast, but she's never had a fair life. She also never really accepted that she would die from this, she always assumed that she would still have options after. She was finally opening up to the idea of finding something she would truly love and not learn to love. She would have become a WAG like Kika, Kelly, or Lily. An official WAG. She would have found it odd at first, but come to love it. Those are all what-ifs now.

Everyone was worried about Lando, they didn't want to leave him alone. So they called Max as soon as they heard about Leah going to the hospital. Max had packed up his things from London and flown out to be with his best friend. Max knew how much Leah had meant to Lando. He knew how this would break him, so he wanted to be there to help pick up the pieces.