Mind of Steel | Part two | L.N.

LXXVIII

"So I am joined here by our beloved Leah Guessey-Norris," Amanda smiled as she gestured to Leah as she walked into the view of the camera. She gave Amanda a small hug and then moved to her seat.

"So Amanda I was told to prepare myself," Leah laughed a little. "Is this going to be my mental health check-up or something? Free therapy?"

"We just want people to know you, to understand you," Amanda reasoned. Leah nodded. "So it'll be like the video we've done before, but more from your side. Maybe something about your brothers. I know you've lost George since then as well." Leah nodded as she kept a flat smile on her face.

"Oh so I'm an inspiration," Leah sat up and adjusted her jeans since her ankles were showing.

"In a way yes, most fans are fascinated by your ability to bounce back and grow from your grief," Amanda reasoned. Leah looked down at the mic on her shirt and then smiled at Amanda.

"Yeah, well I can't say I have great coping skills," Leah laughed. "I mostly just shove everything away and get tunnel vision on racing. But don't do that," Leah pointed at the camera. "I went MIA for like a week when George died because I didn't know how to deal with that. So I forced myself to grieve all of them."

"Your whole family, I can't imagine what that must have been like for you?" Amanda gave her a sad smile. Leah pushed her hair back behind her ears and nodded.

"To be honest I guess I won't ever completely get over it since, I never got to say bye to them." Leah pulled out her phone and set it on the table in front of them so she could sit comfortably.

"Any of them?" Amanda asked.

"No, unfortunately, I was never there, they died when I was asleep, or away here," She gestured to the building. "In formal one, in another country entirely."

"If you would get a chance to see them again, what would you say to them?"

"Um," Leah thought for a moment. "Probably, just that I love them, we didn't say that to one another. ever. The first time I heard it from my mother in years, and mind you, she actually meant it this time, was my rookie year I believe when I won, um, I forgot what race it was actually, but that was around the time I found out that Charles was diagnosed." Amanda gave her a sad smile, but Leah sat there keeping herself together. She felt more comfortable talking about it now. Since it was a little while ago and she had mostly dealt with it this time. On her own.

"Was that normal for your family, to never say I love you to one another?" Amanda asked. Leah nodded as she crossed her legs and leaned back in her car.

"Yeah because that's never really been our thing, we didn't really show affection that well growing up, so yeah, we never said I love you, but recently I've come across a quote that I now try to live by especially given my dark history. End a conversation with people the way that would leave you satisfied if they died tomorrow. I think that's how it went, it pretty much just means say what you wanna say, always tell them I love you, don't miss the opportunity, you never know when people might leave your life."

"I'm sorry you never got to tell them," Amanda gripped her hand. Leah paused and reached for her phone.

"I do this thing," Leah sighed as she got onto her phone. "Sorry this might get depressing for a second, but it makes me feel comfortable." She went to her calls and tapped on Georges's icon. She set her phone on the table. "Listen." Leah smiled at her phone as it rang.

"Hey it's Georgie Gatlin or George Gatlin or Colonel Gatlin, I can't come to the phone right now cause I'm trying to fucking game, if you leave a message I may get to it, but the most likely answer is I will just text whoever you are back because I don't have time to call people. If you are a telemarketer fuck off, I don't want any more underwear. If you are my family just text me for fucks sake, you know I will answer. thank you, goodbye." the phone beeped. Leah picked it up and hung up not leaving a message.