Saorsa

Lead up

"Emilio?" I question tiredly.

I'm calm until I realise where I am and who's actually in front of me. I bolt upright, almost banging my head on the top bunk.

Emilio looks confused, shocked even.

"You're homeless?" He questions, his eyes scanning the room.

"No," I snap, pulling my legs out from underneath the covers and swinging them over the bed. "I-I mean technically yes but-" I stutter out, unsure of how to explain this.

"It's a yes or no question Serena," He cuts me off. "Well yes but like.. by choice kind of," I poorly attempt to explain.

"You're homeless by choice?" He repeats, completely baffled. "What does that even mean," He scoffs.

"Look it's a long story okay," I tell him, standing up so our eyes can meet. "You should go," I borderline beg, trying to push him in the direction of the door.

"Fuck that I'm not leaving you here," He exclaims, causing me to shush him. "I have no other choice Emilio," I grit.

"Yes you do, you still have a room at mine," He says, our eyes locking. "I don't have a job, I can't pay rent for a one bedroom apartment let alone that huge ass mansion," I roll my eyes.

He snorts, amusement dancing in his eyes. "Rent?" He laughs. "You can stay for free," He explains as if he's stating the obvious.

"I can't freeload in your home," I tell him. "Plus.. I like it here," I say unconvincingly, my eyes drifting over my bleak surroundings.

The truth is I know living with Emilio would be ideal, I could live out the rest of my time in a luxurious, relaxing environment and actually enjoy myself.

But I can't, I won't be dependent on a man again. I know what they're like, they make you believe they love you and that they'll take care of you but when you put your trust in them they'll isolate you and make sure you have nowhere to run.

I won't do it again. If Emilio takes me in and decides to kick me out I doubt I'll be able to get another spot at the hostel then I'll be completely fucked.

Or maybe I'm just using my trust issues as an excuse to avoid the real reason I can't go with him, because I know I won't be able to stop myself from getting closer to him. It wouldn't be fair to either of us.

"Serena please just listen to me," He pleads, inching closer to me. "You don't have to stay here, you can come home with me and I can help you," He tells me, his hands on my shoulders.

I bite my lip, deep in thought. I want to be strong and continue being independent but I'm so tired.

I sigh, slumping my shoulders in defeat and leaning into him. He embraces me, his arms wrapping around me as he strokes my hair softly.

"It's okay, let's just go to my car," He says, pulling away. I watch him grab my stuff and walk towards the exit, following him past the sleeping receptionist and out onto the street.

Tucking my hands into my pockets, I silently follow behind him as he leads me to the car. I climb into the passenger seat, watching him start the car and drive off.

"I'm taking you somewhere," He states bluntly, cutting through the tense silence. "Where?" I question, my eyebrow raised.

"You'll see," He replies smugly, a smirk pulling at his lips.

The drive is long and quiet, with me looking out the window and watching rows of trees pass as he drives further and further away from the town.

I find myself drifting off, being unable to stop my racing mind from overthinking.

The car comes to a halt with Emilio climbing out as I stare out of the windscreen, trying to gage where we are.

"Come on," He says, opening my door for me and holding out his hand. I look at it for a split second before grasping it in mine, allowing him to help me out of the car.

He's taken us to a remote grassy area surrounded by a cloak of trees with a pretty high cliff edge, overlooking the moonlight lit ocean.

"I knew you would be the death of me Emilio Cruz," I announce as we approach the cliff edge. "You're going to push me off aren't you," I joke.

He snorts, looking back at me. "Don't tempt me," He teases, stopping right at the edge.

The jagged rocks jut out and loom over the sea, the choppy waves crashing against the cliff and echoing through the silent night air.

He sits down, his legs dangling over the edge as he reaches out for my hand. "Be careful," He instructs, helping me to sit beside him.

"So.. why did you bring me out here?" I ask curiously after a few moments of silence.

"I don't know, I come here to smoke sometimes and I think it's a nice place to talk," He shrugs, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small container.

"Talk about what?" I ask, sensing by his tone that he has something specific he wants the conversation to be about.

He sighs, opening the container and pulling out a pre rolled blunt.

"You, I want to know everything about you," He says, lighting it and pressing it to his lips.

"I thought the interrogations were over," I snort. "No not like that..like in a friend way, friends know things about each others lives right?" He coaxes.

"Right," I slowly nod. "So tell me about yours, tell me how you ended up there," He says, now looking at me.

Although i'm somewhat of a closed off individual my heart swells at the idea that someone is interested in hearing about my life.

Ever since I was little I've been brushing off my feelings and never confiding in anyone about what I've gone through because no one ever cared. My parents would always ignore my problems and James couldn't have been less disinterested.

I think it would be good, therapeutic even if I finally let someone in.

I reach over and grab a blunt, placing it to my lips. He leans in, his body mere inches from mine as he lights it for me.

I inhale deeply, allowing the smoke to travel into my lungs as Emilio watches me intently.

"Alright I'll tell you about my life."