Saorsa

Inevitable

"Serena we're going to be late," I call out as I lean against the kitchen counter.

It's been two days since the incident with the car but I've left that with my dad, I have bigger things to worry about.

Today's Serena's first day of treatment and she's been stalling. I know she's anxious so I've been trying my best to comfort her all day but it's done nothing to pacify her nerves.

"Alright alright I'm coming," She replies, her voice echoing through the empty house. Lucian took Harper and the boys out for the day so we could have the house to ourselves. 

The doctors said the treatment will leave Serena very weak and nauseous so it's ideal that I can look after her with no distractions.

She walks through the living room, wearing a loose pair of shorts and one of my hoodies that she so often steals out of my side of the wardrobe.

"You ready?" I ask, my hand gripping her waist as I lean down to give her a kiss.

She nods, unusually quiet.

We walk to the car in tense silence, Serena trailing slightly behind me. We sit down, a sigh escaping my lips as I turn the key in the ignition.

"You know you've got this right? You'll get the treatment and get healthier and everything will be alright," I give her a little pep talk as we sit in the car.

"I know," She sighs, not sounding too convinced as she fiddles with the strings of my oversized hoodie.

I give her a reassuring smile and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear before taking off, knowing we're already late.

I turn on this podcast she's currently obsessed with as I drive along the deserted country roads, hoping it'll briefly distract her from our destination.

I pull into the hospital after a long drive, parking hastily as I glance down at my phone, aware that we're almost twenty minutes late.

I climb out the car, expecting her to follow but when I turn around she's still firmly rooted to the passengers seat. 

"Serena?" I question, my arm rested on the hood of the car as I duck down to look at her.

She's staring straight ahead but it's as if her mind is in a completely different place, her eyes clouded over. My worry increases when I notice her laboured breathes, her chest moving up and down too quickly.

I close my door, swiftly heading to her side of the car.

"Serena." I repeat in exaggerated calm. I bend down, meeting her eye level and stroking her hair out of her face.

"Take a deep breath," I instruct. Her eyes snap towards me, desperation evident across her face. "I don't think I can do it Emilio," She mutters, her voice raspy. 

She's spent weeks researching the treatment, watching video after video of people transforming from looking relatively healthy to hollowed out versions of themselves. I told her that it would get worse before it got better but that did nothing to soothe her.

"I know you're scared, shit I am too but you know you need to go in," I tell her softly, a hint of sternness lacing my voice.

She nods slowly, swallowing the lump in her throat before reaching out for my hand. I take it in mine, helping her out the car and leading her to the hospital entrance.

"Hm?" I hum, breaking out of my thoughts at the sound of my name being called. 

"Did you hear what I said?" The doctor asks, staring at me as I sit perched on the scratchy sheets of the hospital bed.

I nod unconvincingly, knowing I've zoned out the past ten minutes of this conversation. The doctor; sensing I was lying, repeats herself regardless. 

"I said if you'd like to follow me I can take you to the treatment room," She says, motioning for me to follow her.

"Mr Cruz I'd have to ask you to wait here, only patients are allowed in the treatment room due to the radiation," She explains once Emilio makes a move to follow us out.

This fills me with more anxiety than I had expected. I've always been independent and used to dealing with things on my own but Emilio has been like a safety blanket throughout this whole ordeal.

He nods begrudgingly, approaching me and engulfing me in his arms. I melt into his touch, his expensive cologne flooding my nose as I grip onto him.

"I'll be waiting right here," He promises, pulling away and delivering a soft kiss to my forehead.

"Give this a read while you're waiting," The doctor suggests, handing Emilio a leaflet before turning towards the door.

I follow the doctor out of the room and through numerous brightly lit hallways, each one an ocean of white paint. I hug Emilio's hoodie tightly around me, his smell a comfort as I listen to the doctor explain the treatment.

"You'll be alone in the room with another doctor who'll deliver your radiation therapy with a machine called a linear accelerator," She drones off, her speech robotic. 

"Most patients experience side effects such as headaches, nausea, extreme tiredness, hearing loss and trouble with memory and speech." She lists, flicking through her clipboard as we continue our walk.

I nod, although all the information is going in one ear and out the other.

"You're welcome to try our cold caps to prevent hair loss but with the way your radiation treatment is being administered it's very unlikely your hair will fall out," She explains, stoping in front of a large white door.

"Now here we are, a specialist will meet you inside," She says, sending me a tight lipped smile before walking back down the hall.

I suck in a deep breath, slowly opening the door.

The room, as predicted is a bright shade of white, the lights above almost blindly bright. The smell of disinfectants and chemicals overwhelms me as I shuffle into the room.

A bubbly redhead doctor looks up when she hears me enter, immediately smiling brightly. "You must be Miss Verlice!" She greets, overly excited.

"Are you ready to get started?"