Based off of 'Sara' by We Three
👹MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR SUICIDE AND STARVATION TRIGGER WARNING!!!! 👹
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Little Theo you're a diamond in the rough
"I know you think you're not enough Theo but you are, you are enough" Liam says to him one afternoon as they are cuddling.
Liam runs his fingers through his hair, pulling out knots every now and then. Theo sinks deeper into Liam's chest. The feeling of being held a new one for him.
Theo's birthday is approaching, he knows no one will celebrate it, he knows no one would ever even wish him a happy birthday. Well maybe one person. Theo has never told Liam when his birthday is, Theo hopes he doesn't know. He doesn't want to think of the day he was born.
Everyday Theo wakes up in pain, physical and mental. The countless missed meals taking a toll on his body, a toll not even a werewolf can handle. Theo's body feels like it's giving out on itself.
The mental toll being his never ending nightmares, his sister waking him up all throughout the night to take her heart back. The sound of her wet feet taking steps throughout the hospital hallways plague Theo even when he is awake.
Theo always wakes up with a jump, his hand holding his chest where his ,,, her heart is.
Theo knows he can tell someone that he is hungry, he knows Liam would help him but Theo doesn't want help. He knows he deserves this, he deserves every bad thing that will ever come to him.
He doesn't deserve it when Liam invites him over to his house and Theo walks through the door and "Surprise" is shouted from in the room.
A big banner runs across the archway, 'Happy 19th Birthday Theo' it reads. Theo looks around the room at the faces of the 'Puppy pack' as Stiles named it.
Theo knows he is surrounded by people that want to celebrate him, that want him around but all it feels like is he is all alone in a room full of people.
All Theo can think about is the wolvesbane bullets in his glove department that are loaded into the magazine of his gun. A gun that he had Incase he ever needed to stop himself from going back to the old Theo.
Theo pretends he is having fun, he puts on a happy face, he walks around and talks to everyone, he jokes around and laughs, he eats his birthday cake. No one notices that he is faking. His lying coming too easy to him. Theo hates that he can lie like what he says is the truth.
They all want to get drunk, the wolvesbane laced alcohol being served all around.
Theo has been drinking for days, the only thing that makes him feel numb, the only thing that keeps his finger off of the trigger.
He drinks shot after shot but all his mind can think about is things that it shouldn't. He can only see Josh, the screams he made when Theo had sucked the life out of him, the life that Theo would give back if he could, he would give up his own life to bring Josh back.
He thinks of Tracey, the only person to have trusted him truly, following along with anything Theo said. Her trust getting her killed.
Theo knows he will never be trusted, he understands why, he doesn't even trust himself.
Theo tries to listen to the people around him, the people that care about him surrounding him, they shower him in love and presents. He seats on the couch and they all take turns shoving presents into his lap to be opened first.
Theo is surrounded by all of these people but all he feels is alone, wrong. He knows it's wrong for someone like him to be surrounded by love.
Theo smiles as he leaves, hugging everyone and telling everyone how thankful he is for everything. He hugs Liam a little harder than the others. "I love you Theo, thank you for being here" Liam says, genuinely happy that Theo came to the party.
Theo can't hear, the wall he had put up to keep nice words out of his brain. He doesn't deserve them. The little boy in his head wanting out of its prison, little Theo wanting to be loved.
Little Theo bangs on the metal bars, begging to be loved, begging to be set free, to be happy.
Theo can barely see the pavement as he drives home, the road signs a blur to him. Theo knows the 'Home' he is driving to is nowhere to be found.
Theo knows he has no home, he has no place he belongs. He is alone, he is homeless.
He has no place in pack, they all see him the same. No one wants to understand him, no one wants to understand the 9 year old boy that was scared and had made a decision that would haunt him the rest of his life.
The day that had happened was the day Theo had imprisoned the little boy in his mental jail. The little boy crying out for love.
The pack knows he is fucked up, that he can not be trusted. They all know he's too manipulative. He's too blunt. He is a liar.
They all know Theo's insides are rotten, he is not normal, he is barely human.
Theo agrees with them. He does not deserve a place in the pack. He does not mourn it anymore, mourn what could have been had he not tried to tear them apart.
Theo tries to find the good in things, he tries to find a savior. Someone to help him get better, he is all alone.
He needs a savior.
He starts to skip out on pack meetings, coming up with various excuses, offering to check out the preserve while they meet up, Monroe's presence becoming more prevalent lately.
He knows one day they are going to ask what's wrong with him, why he seems happy lately. He knows that they have to know it's all fake.
The truth is that Theo does not want to let his secret out, the truth would result in the pack attacking him.
He knows that it's wrong for him to feel this way, to feel depressed after what he had done to others. A monster like him should not feel bad about himself.
He knows the pack would agree.
Everyday is a struggle, the act of trying to keep this mask he had put on proving to be wearing him thin.
"Theo is everything okay? You don't seem okay lately" Liam asks him one day as they sit on Theo's truck in a clearing. Their food sitting between them. Theo's sandwich has barely been touched.
Theo knows that he shouldn't say that he is okay but he still looks him in the eyes and nods his head, a smile creeping up on his face as he makes a sarcastic joke. Something to hide behind.
Last night his dreams had been bad, worse than normal.
In his dream he had found himself on the bridge looking down at his sister as he kills her. "Theo why would you do this to me? I thought you loved me?" She asks before slowly losing consciousness. Theo watches as little Theo walks into the water and retrieves his sister, the sister he had killed.
Next thing he knows he is in the hospital, he knows the drill, having been through it hundreds of times. He stands still as he waits for his sister.
He hears her, the droplets of water hitting the hallway floor announcing her arrival. Theo watches as she walks to him, she stares him in the eyes, "You killed me. Look what you did. All you do is hurt the people that love you. You will always hurt the people around you. You are a monster Theo." She says, Theo stares at her. She had never said any words besides 'Theo'.
"You are a monster Theo" she says one last time before plunging her hand into his chest, her fingers grab what she is looking for before ripping it out.
Theo collapses to the ground as she holds the heart, her heart.
Theo wakes up with a gasp, getting air into his lungs proving to be difficult. He sits up, the tears that are running down his face hit him in the arm, most landing onto his lap.
Theo opens his truck door before sliding out. Theo knows what must be done. He knows that he needs to take the evil out, that he will never be good. All of the good that had been in him had died the day he killed his sister.
In that moment Theo could not add up two or three reasons why he should stay.
Theo goes to his truck and opens the glove department, he reaches in and grabs what he was looking for. He goes to the back of his truck and pulls the bed down.
He jumps up on the tailgate and grabs his pen and pad. He starts to write letters to the pack, apologizing for all of the wrongs he had done to each one of them.
He can barely see the page as he finishes the last letter, he had saved his last letter for the only person that had ever made Theo feel the smallest bit of love.
It's 6:14 and he can barely even read all of the words he had written down for Liam, an explanation as to why it was time for him to leave.
His phone is on the ground and he can barely hear it ring, couldn't hear a sound, couldn't even feel a single thing.
Now it's 6:15 and he's on his knees, the blood from the bullet hole in his stomach drenching his shirt.
He tries to get air into his lungs but his lungs won't breathe. The wolvesbane he had swallowed is now shutting his system down. His eyes are watering as his body is shivering, he is wondering what is happening as he feels each organ start to shut down.
Now it's 6:23 and Liam is on his knees beside him but he can't hear as Liam begs, "Jesus, please can you make him breathe".
The beta is covered in Theo's blood as he holds him, pulling his shirt up to see the wound but all he sees is Theo's ribs. The way you can count all of them.
Liam finally sees what has been happening underneath all of their noses and underneath Theo's sleeves.
People thought that he was evil but they never wanted to look inside, never wanted to free the little boy that had been locked behind bars.
It's 9:17 when Liam finally lets them take his body away. He sits there shaking, covered in tears and Theo's blood.
Tara had finally caught up to him, the little trapped boy finally being killed, the same way he had killed his sister.
Theo knew he got what he deserved.
