BOY-friends (Wilmon-young royals)💖🤴

Chapter 19

Maddie is in the shower and Felice is talking to herself. Or actually she is trying to figure out what to say to Maddie. "Hey so, I kind of have a crush... on a girl... on Sara..." She whispers to herself. That must be the lamest coming out ever. She mentally slaps herself for making such a big deal out of it. Of course it is a big deal, but why can't she pretend it is not? That would be much easier.

She doesn't hear the shower running anymore. In a minute Maddie will be out in the room and she will tell her. Yes. She will explain how it started and why she did not say anything earlier. Everything. From start to end, or from start to now.

Except, Maddie did of course not know of this plan. And when she started talking she hardly ever stopped. "Hey Felice, did you know what Walter said to Fredrika? He is such a dumbass..."

So, maybe not today.

--

It is the morning of Sint Lucia and Felice can simply not find herself be excited for it. A cynical laugh escapes her mouth as she looks at herself in the mirror. She is wearing a white dress and the red ribbon around her waist. She looks perfect. It used to be a dream. A dream, not her dream. Everything was always her mother's dream. The horse, the school, everything. And now she was chosen to be Lucia. She does not even want to be her. She just wants to be herself for a change.

"You are a really pretty Lucia." Sara says. She had just arrived at school and was wearing her white dress and ribbon as well. She looks beautiful. She also looks a little sad. It takes Felice a moment to realize that it is because she did want to be Lucia. She would absolutely be gorgeous as Lucia. She is perfect for it. She keeps staring at herself in the mirror. It suddenly does not even look perfect anymore. Something is off in the picture. She decides it is about damn time. This is the moment Felice decides she will not do it any longer. Always has she kept up with her mother's expectations. It is enough now. She could handle being on a horse, she could handle being in a school she did not want to go to. But seeing the girl she likes, be sad because she cannot have something. Just because Felice already has it and does not even want it. That is too much. That is just too unfair.

"No. You are a really beautiful Lucia." Felice says determined. Sara looks confused. "You should be Lucia, Sara. I don't want to and I know you do." Before Sara can even try to stutter a "what", Felice has already left the room with a smile from ear to ear. She feels a kind of pride she has never felt before. To do something kind for someone and also do what she wants and not what her mother wants, feels good. It feels so good. She is not done with this.

--

Last night was the kind of night you write poetry about. The kind you sing songs about. Sadly Wilhelm does not believe he is to be a popstar. But he thinks his b-, Simon could sing the prettiest song about last night. When Wilhelm closes his eyes he still feels Simon close to him. He still feels his lips along his jawline. His bottom lip dragging up to his ear and the soft kiss Simon placed right under his earlobe. It made something shift inside his stomach. He still feels Simon lying under him. Everything he touched was just him. Everything was just him. The boy he loves. The boy who knows he loves him and loves him back. He still feels the sweat. He has fallen so deeply, he does not think he will ever get up again. He decides that he is totally okay with that. His mind is going crazy. Simon, Simon, Simon. He should be careful, it is very dangerous to love a person like this.

--

His head is still spinning because of Wilhelm. Simon can't stop thinking about last night. He wonders quickly if Wilhelm still thinks about it too. Though he has to focus right now. It is Saint Lucia morning. It was August's plan and he has promised to do most, but it does not feel right to let him do it all alone. Of course August sucks and he owes him this, but Simon is going to be extra nervous all day if he does not know what exactly is happening and if it is happening as it should be. So he will be at the stand as a volunteer too. Not a thing can go wrong or he will lose absolutely everything. He shudders at the thought. If he has to leave Hillerska, Wilhelm more importantly, his life will be over. Maybe a bit dramatic, Rosh and Ayub will be there, but it would be bad-bad.