One-shot book! (OSC)

(Notepad X Zune)⚠️🔪🕳️

A/N: I almost relapsed today after almost 1 year clean. But I chickened out lol. Anyways Notepad and Zune are such comforts for me. I know they're hated cause of OR as a show but their both do amazing to me and I just really needed some hurt/comfort. Also yes I support Lesboys and Mspec Lesbians/Gays. If you want a nice source to learn more about them there's a Google doc about Mspec Lesbians/Gays and the LGBTQIA+ Wiki has a page on Lesboys <3 Also I didn't write Notepads tics since I do recognize they're offensive in a more serious setting (As someone who has tics I don't view them as offensive in a joking setting since that's what they are, jokes.) And I was lazy lol.

Can be read as a QPP or romantic relationship.

TW// Self harm, mentions of suicide, depression, eating disorders, emotional and physical abuse, seasonal depression, PTSD/Trauma, Sexual Assault, abusive ex partners, homophobia, transphobia, slurs, Lesboyphobia, Mspec-Lesbophobia, Mspec-Homophobia, TERFS, Cyber bullying, slurs, bugs and mental hospitals.

Notepad breathed heavily. A pencil sharpener in his hand. Everything felt like it was on fire.

He went back to school only 3 days ago. It was his freshmen year. He was absolutely terrified.

Probably because of all the things that happened to him in 7th year. He shuddered at the memory.

He grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawer and started to use it to undo the screw on the sharpener. He was too scared to use the knife itself.

A whole year clean. Down the drain. Why? Because his fucking grandma screamed at him for his bus not showing up? Because he already felt guilty for no fucking reason?

He thought back to last night. He had decided to vent to Zune. Venting terrified him. He never really vented to anyone since his brother got mad at him for "complaining". Even though he asked if he could vent and he said yes.

The blade inside his sharpener popped out. He stared at it for a moment. Was he really about to do this? He took the blade into the bathroom. Leaving behind the empty husk of a sharpener.

On his way to the restroom he thought some more about how he had been feeling lately. As it was only the first few days of school nothing note worthy had really happened... Than why did he feel like this? Why did he feel so bad? He felt tired whenever he came home from school. Ever since school started back up everything felt like one long depressive episode. Was it truama?

He closed the bathroom door and locked it before flicking on the lights. The dingy bathroom crawled with roaches. It made him feel sick. He hobbled over to the sink and looked at his reflection. It was awful. He looked completely disheveled. Small stains and smudges coated him. His Spiral binding was crooked and uneven. Small tears from trips and falls all over his body.

He opened the bathroom cabinet. Looking for his axe body spray. Maybe huffing would help calm him down... He saw some makeup he had bought and froze. He bought it the day before school restarted. He planned on putting it on to try and look nice. But his brother screamed at him while he was showering. And when he retaliated he brought his sexual truama into it. It completely shot Notepads confidence. And the next day he decided to try and wear the nails. But they were so difficult to put on and made it so hard to text Zune he opted out.

He sat on the bathroom chair. Shaking. Completely forgetting why he opened the cabinet. Was he really... Really about to throw away a year of hard work over this...? Yes. He was. He sat up and walked over to the bathroom sink. The mirror taunting him. His thoughts of 7th grade flooded back. Being called slurs, being bullied, harassed, used, assaulted. That one hurt. He sobbed a bit. He had been Sexually assaulted a total of 7 times. 9 different people. All men. He himself wasn't a man, but it.put a strain on his relationships with his guy friends.