"It couldn't hurt to try!" They say. "Just get up." They say. But the fact is, it could hurt to try. It hurt when I tried to ask Ashley out, I ended up getting rejected. Given that she's a lesbian, that shouldn't have mattered as much. It hurt to try and get to know Travis, he ended up hurting me. It hurt when I tried to relieve my stress; the blade, gliding across my skin. The lighter, turning my flesh numb and sensitive. It hurt when I tried to be myself, I ended up forgetting who I actually was. It hurt when I tried to make friends, and I ended up morphing myself into someone I'm not. It hurt when I tried to forget everything, live normally. I stopped feeling emotion but also started feeling emotion stronger than ever at the same time. It hurt to try, but after a while, it didn't. After a while, you get used to it. "I told you it couldn't hurt to try," Dad said. "You ended up just fine!" Lisa said. And now I believe it. I know it isn't true, but I believe it. My brain is so used to the pain, It doesn't exist to me anymore. I start to realize how much I'm lying to myself. "You're happy," I repeat these words to myself, taking deep breaths. I stare at the pills on my nightstand.
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Sal grabs the pills, popping the top off of the bottle and pouring about six into his hand. He hesitates, then tilting his head back as they fell into his mouth, swallowing.
"It couldn't hurt to try." Sal says one last time, his vision blurring.
