Instead of anger, or crying my emotions run away.
I'm left numb, unable to reach Sadness and his family in time.
I lie to myself and say, maybe I'm just holding on so I'll just reach out later. Like a real procrastinator.
Eventually later never arrives. Numb feels placed in a dark corner, ironically she's an attention seeker. We both know she's not meant to stay, "But I am your master", I thought while I unconsciously abused her. If only I knew the phoenix that rose.
A moment between a little and too late, she comes out. I start to see the way I was feeding the monster I have created.
She has burns from flames, clear for me to see because I was the one rubbing spirits on those wounds.
"I thought I was helping her", but I just made it worse and I know cause she was so loud and became the master of my own tongue.
She demands attention, no longer nice nor hiding during the day. She shows herself off, corrupting every being in my body. She whispers when she talks so only I could hear her, her voice control the corpse she's possessing. Slowly making me feel like my heart is beating fast, gasp for last but she knows she can't.
She gives me poison and tells me it's meant to make me feel better. Blind sited by her pain, I believed her. I took it because I was desperate for an answer.
It went up the arteries and poisoned my mind, not the brain.
I knew she was going there too. Her creator made her strong, she knows how to make her prisoners suffer, she's a real fighter.
Days fly and nights dread, I'm no longer in control. She has taken over, I have created my own master.
-Lulu bikitsha
Published in : lulubikitsha.art.blog
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Poetry nights
PoëzieVarious relatable spoken word poetry about the things we don't talk about
