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Are you happy now? I demanded of myself. Well, here was my reward for hoping. I was bewildered, elated, horrified-mostly horrified-to realize that all my wildest imaginings were not so far off the mark.
This was why it didn't matter to him that I was a monster. It was exactly the same reason that the rules no longer mattered to me. Why right and wrong were no longer compelling influences. Why all my priorities had shifted one rung down to make room for this boy at the very top.
Jungkook Jeon cared for me, too.
I knew it could be nothing in comparison to how I loved him. But it was enough for him to risk his life to sit here with me. To do so gladly. Enough to cause him pain if I did the right thing and left him.
Was there anything I could do now that would not hurt him? Anything at all?
I should have stayed away. I should never have come back to Forks. I would cause him nothing but pain.
Would that stop me from staying now? From making it worse? The way I felt right now, feeling his warmth against my skin...
No. Nothing would stop me.
"Ah," I groaned to myself. "This is wrong."
"What did I say?" he asked, quick to take the blame on himself.
"Don't you see, Jungkook? It's one thing for me to make myself miserable, but a wholly other thing for you to be so involved. I don't want to hear that you feel that way."
It was the truth. It was a lie. The most selfish part of me was flying with the knowledge that he wanted me as I wanted him. "It's wrong. It's not safe. I'm dangerous, Jungkook -please grasp that."
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"No." His lips pouted out petulantly.
"I'm serious." I was battling with myself so strongly-half desperate for him to accept, half desperate to keep the warnings from escaping-that the words came through my teeth as a growl.
"You're serious? Well, so am I," he insisted. "I told you, it doesn't matter what you are. It's too late."
Too late? Jimin's vision swirled in my head, Jungkook's blooded eyes staring back at me impassively, expressionless. But there was no way that he could not hate me for that future. Hate me for stealing everything from him. Stealing his life and his soul.
